


Wide Awake

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Nightmares, RBD, vulnerable!louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 11:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crazy things are going on with Louis and Harry doesn't know what. Lou's room is wrecked, he's getting cuts everywhere, and Louis claims to remember nothing. Harry thinks something might be wrong with Louis... but will he figure out what? And can he save him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Harry's POV:**

It's early in the morning when I wake up. It's one of the VERY rare occasions I'm wearing a shirt and trousers to sleep. I don't know why I woke up, but, then again, I never do. Oh well. I stretch and sit up in bed.

Crash.  
 _Did I just hear that?_  
Thud.  
 _Maybe I'm just hearing thi_ - **Bang.**

I jump out of bed and run outside after grabbing an umbrella. Yes, an umbrella. What else? There's nothing here.  
It's just our living room, with the fluffy rug on the floor, yesterday's bowl of popcorn on the table, our comfy sofa which Louis and I always playfully fight over -  _LOUIS._

I rush to his room. And stare. Its trashed. Totally and completely. The bed sheets are ripped and thrown on the floor, the chair toppled on its side. Everything on the table is on the floor. I suddenly remember why I'm here. I look around wildly for Louis. "LOUIS!" I scream. I'm suddenly terrified. "LOUIS!"  
No response.  
"Lou," I choke, "If this is a joke-"  
CRACK.  
"L-Louis - LOUIS!" Suddenly something bangs against the connected bathroom door. I stare at it.  
I hear a cry of pain.  
"LOUIS!" I shout, and yank the bathroom door open. The bathroom mirror is broken, and I can see drops of blood on the floor.  
"Louiiisss..." I moan, panicking. Suddenly I hear a return moan.  
I dart to the bathtub.  
"Louis," I whisper in horror. He's right there. And he looks terrible.  
He's in a crumpled heap on the floor of the tub. His hair is messed up crazily. He has cuts on his arms, one particularly close to his vein, and a deep-looking cut on his head.  
"Louis? Lou, can you hear me? LOUIS. LOUIS!"  
He stirs, whimpering.  
"Ah," he whispers in pain. He holds his forehead. I jump in with him, and lift his head anxiously. There's another wound on the back of his neck thats dripping. Just like my tears. I don't know what to do, but I hold his head close to me, and stroke his hair miserably.  
"It- it's fine, Louis, nothing happened..."  
But I don't know what happened.  _Did Louis do this... himself?_  
 _No, ofcourse not..._  
 _But nobody's here..._  
I hear a loud banging noise. I realize the boys are here, but I desperately don't want to leave Louis. But they could help...  
I anxiously put his head on the floor again. "I'm getting help," I whisper, and dart across the bathroom and outside. I realize my feet are bleeding, but it really isn't hurting.  
BANG. BANG. BANG. Then "He isn't answering his phone!"  
I reach the door, and as I fumble with the locks, I try to say something, but all that comes out is a giant sob.  
"Harry? Harry? HARRY?"  
The door opens, and the boys fall in.  
"Louis," I gasp, and fall to the floor. I feel hands grip my arms, pulling me upright.  
"His feet..." Zayn murmurs. "Where's Louis?"  
"Harry, WHERE IS LOUIS?" Liam says. I jerk myself free and stumble to Louis's bathroom. I hear sharp intakes of breath when we enter Louis's room but I break into a run and, almost tripping onto my face in the bathroom, fall by Louis's side, sobbing uncontrollably. It's just... Lou looks... so... dead.

"S***..."  
"Harry... when... Louis?"  
"Can... me, Harry?"  
"Louis... hopital... help..."  
Thats all I can hear. I'm bending over Louis's chest, while he's barely awake, and losing blood.  
"Louis... LOU... LOUIS... Lou, please..."  
"L-Louis," I choke out. I shake him, scared. "Lou... Lou, please... LOUIS... Louis, please!" My voice cracks as I lean back to look at him properly, tears streaming down my cheeks.  
Finally, the body I'm supporting shivers. I freeze.  
"M-" I am still frozen.  
"My head..." groans Louis.

"LOUIS." Liam says firmly. "Louis, WHAT HAPPENED?"  
Louis finally opens his eyes. With another shaky sob, I lean forward and hug him. I kiss his cheek, feeling strange - overwhelmed with so much joy I can't feel it.  
"Harry... why are you crying...?" he asks, a catch in his voice. "And why I am I...?"  
I lean back, my body shaking from my tears. I see silent tears fallin down Niall's cheeks, and Zayn and Liam have unshed tears in their eyes.  _I'm the only one who broke_.  
Louis looks at his wrists. The cut closest to his vein is bleeding steadily, leaving a trail wrapping his wrist, dripping onto the floor of the bathtub. I cradle his head in my arms.  
"Liam," I say shakily, "We need to help him."  
Liam nods. "I know where the bandages are," Zayn reassures me, and as he does to get them, Niall climbs into the tub with me. He strokes Louis's hands.  
"Lou," Niall says with scared look in his eyes, "Did you do this yourself?"

Louis looks around, at the mirror, at the floor, at me. Then he looks back at Niall, with tears forming in his eyes.  
"I don't know." And a tear falls out of his eye. I stroke it away with my thumb. I'm so happy I can only smile weakly in releif.

Zayn returns with a first aid kit. Liam takes it - he IS Daddy direction - and I clamber out of the tub to give him room. I sit on the floor and lean against a wall. I feel a faint jab in my hands, and I look at them - they're bleeding. I remember the floor is covered in glass. I stand and fetch a towel, and sweep away the glass on the floor.  
"Hey, Liam," Zayn says suddenly. "Harry needs some too."  
I look at my hands and feet again. I can't feel it, so I shrug. "I'm ok," I say. But Zayn takes a bandage and some antiseptic anyway. "This might sting," he warned, and plunged into his work. Nothing stings. I suppose I should feel happy.  
Louis flinches hard.  
"Hey!" I shout, trying to see what happened.  
"Sorry, sorry. Harry, he's got glass in his skin, I have to get it out."  
I shut my eyes and lean back again. "Sorry," I murmur. I let Zayn continue bandaging me, only wincing when I heard Louis moan.  
"Ok," Liam says at last. "He's done."  
I get up weakly to look at my boo bear. Niall sits on the edge of the tub, and Zayn does too.

Lou looks sleepy, pale, and something else I cant quite place. "Hey, boo," I say softly, sitting next to him, stroking his hair. Unconsiously I realize we all have blood on our clothes.  
"Hey, Haz," he says. Then he frowns. "Haz... why are you crying?"  
I didn't realize it myself, and in surprise I brush my hands to my cheeks. They come back wet. I realize Liam is also crying. I grip Louis's hand.  
"I don't know," I reply. "Lou... how do you feel?  
Louis fidgets. "My injuries hurt. And I feel really, really tired."

I look up. "Will he need stitches?" I ask nobody. Niall and Liam exchange glances. "Maybe, so we're going to the hospital."  
"Like... this?" Zayn asks. We all do look a bit unpresentable. "Yes," I say fiercely. I look down at Louis, who looks tired, so tired. "The quicker, the better."  
Liam shrugs. "The car is waiting, anyway. Let's go."  
"But how do we get Lou up?" asks Niall.  
"I-I can stand, " Louis says. He sits up - with a lot of help from me. He clutches his head suddenly, and I grab his shoulders to prevent him from falling.  
"I feel dizzy..." he whispers. "I think he fell," I say. Suddenly someone bangs in. Paul. He stares at us in shock.

"Help Louis. We have to get to the hospital," Liam says anxiously. Paul immediately takes action and scoops Louis up in his arms. Zayn looks at me.  
"Harry, can you walk?" "Maybe." But I can't. So Niall and Zayn both wrap arms around my waist while I cling to their shoulders. My hands and feet suddenly sting badly.

Outside, paparazzi waits for us. None of us are in the mood. Not even Liam, who almost always has time for our fans. I hear dozens of camera shots, and paparazzi screaming for us. I don't care.  
We all slide into the car, and Louis is too. His head rests in the crook of my neck.  
"Boo, how do you feel?" I whisper. He doesn't respond for a minute.  
"Dizzy. But better."  
"Go to sleep, Lou." Niall says soothingly. I stroke his hair.  
"OK..." Louis mutters, and soon his head is lolling limply in my neck. I hold his chin so it doesn't fall.

"Harry, you can sleep too." Liam adds. I shake my head. I'm too wired to sleep.  
But slowly, slowly, I'm dropping off... then I let go and fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Back home. Yes, Louis did need stitches, on the back of his neck, and two on his left arm. He doesn't mind. I do.  
"It's fine, Harry. I'm okay," Louis says, looking a bit worried.

The boys offered to sleep here, but I reassured them we'd be okay,we had eachother. They confirmed they'd be here tommorow morning, at 9:30 sharp.  
"I know, Lou - I just don't understand who could've done this. There's no window in the bathroom. I'd just like to kill the guy who made you like - " I gesture at my boo bear's bandaged arms and pale face.  
Louis looks scared now. "Forget it, Harry. Everything's okay now."

I can see that Louis is a bit frightened, and I'm tired. It's night now. I decide to give in. "Ok, fine. But sleep in my bed tonight, Lou?" I ask. Louis smiles.  
"Ofcourse, Haz. Do you want to watch The Lion King?"  
He knows that's my favorite movie, so he must be trying to comfort me, so I give in with a genuine big grin. I fetch Louis's blanket and pillow from his bed, and we both snuggle down in my Queen-sized bed, and let the movie begin.  
After watching until Timon, Pumba and Simba sing 'Hakuna Matata', I look at Louis. He's sleeping. I grin. I plump up my pillow, turn the TV off, and snuggle down with him. I look at him until my eyes close.  
****************************************

I wake up, half asleep. I roll over to look at Louis, but he's not there.  
Crash. Clatter.  
I leap out of bed and tear outside. Louis is on the kitchen floor. Next to two big, bloody knives. Shell-shocked, I stagger to Louis's fallen body and collapse next to him. I toss the knives as far as I can, and they both land on the couch.

He has a large wound under his elbow, and one on his ankle. Otherwise he's unscathed. But he's not unscathed. He's hurt. My poor, hurt boo bear.  
I get up in a daze and get the first aid kit, still in the bathroom where we left it. I dabbed antiseptic onto his wounds, then wrapped them in thick bandages. Then I decide to drag him to the sofa. It's hard work, but I manage to get him next to the sofa. I'm about to pull him onto it, when I see the knives on the sofa. Desprate to let loose some anger, I seize the cruel things and throw them with rage. One sticks in my bedroom dor, while the other fall so to the floor.  
I haul Louis onto the sofa. I don't know whether he's unconsious, in a coma, or what. I vaguely remember elevating an unconsious patients legs revives them, but it didn't work when I tried.  
I slipped a pillow under Lou's limp head. I let my head drop onto his warm chest for a minute. He's breathing normally. But I know I need to get him som sort of help.

I get up and stumble to my room, where the knife is still embedded. I get my phone and press 2, which is speeddial Zayn.  
The phone rings twice. I note that it's 9:15.  
Someone picks up, and says, "Hey, Hazza, wassup?"  
"Zayn," I say, not bothering to stop my voice from trembling. "I found Lou on the kitchen floor. He's hurt. I tried to help him but - you - you need to come here, now. Please."  
I hear faint talking, then a shuffling noise. "Harry, we're on our way. Try to wake him up." It's Liam.  
"O-ok." I stammer. I shut the phone, and race back to Louis, narrowly missing the knife on the floor. He looks peacefully asleep. But how can he be?  
"Louis?" I whisper. He doesn't respond. I sit next to him, and lean my chin on his chest. I look at him for a while.  
"Lou?" I ask in a louder voice. "Lou - please."  
There's still no reaction. I let my cheek fall on his chest, and my eyes flutter closed. I drift off.

"Harry!" I jerk awake, immediately clutching at Louis. But he's still on the sofa, unconsious - or sleeping - or something. I see Liam, Zayn, and Niall infront of me.  
Oh right, I remember. I gave them a spare key.

"Harry, did you try to wake him?" Liam asks urgently. "I - yes, but he didn't wake up. You- you don't think he's in coma?" I ask, shaking. Niall shakes his head firmly, and drops by Lou's side. I vaguely realize Paul is in the doorway.  
We all surround him anxiously. Then I clutch his arm. Zayn takes the other, and so does Liam. Niall ruffles Louis's hair.

Louis moans. I stare at him, stunned. Then his eyes flutter open.  
I tackle him in a huge hug. I'm so, so relieved - and something else.  
I look at him angrily. "What's happening to you? Why do you keep doing this? You scared to me to death, yesterday and today! There's no one here, Lou! Are you doing this yourself?"

Louis looks at me, stunned. His blue eyes suddenly seem shiny. But I rant on.  
"Lou, what's going on? Are you feeling ok? Do you think that this - this is you? You doing this? You who keeps hurting yourself? I want to help you, Louis!"  
I'm shouting now, but I'm crying at the same time. "I don't like it! Something's hurting you! And you don't know - I can tell jsut by looking at you! I know your scared!"  
I feel muscular arms pulling me off Louis, who's also crying now. The others are petrified. I figure it's Paul.  
"Please, Louis! Why are you being hurt? Why aren't you listening? LOU, WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING?"

Paul lets me sit on the floor, where Louis can't see me. I'm crying as hard as I was yesterday, though I don't normally cry so much. But I'm so confused.  
"Harry, calm down," Paul says. He looks at me seriously. "You're scaring Louis. You have to stop. Ok? Stop it."  
"But he's not telling me what's wrong with him! He tells me everything! Paul! He -"  
I'm hysterical now. Paul shakes me. "You said yourself he doesn't remember anything! He doesn't know what happened, all he knows is your blaming him for something he doesn't know about. Its frightening him. So be QUIET Harry!"  
Paul being rough with me knocks some sense back into me. I shut my mouth, hiccoughing.  
"Can I see him now?" I ask hoarsely. He looks at me, figures I'm calm now, and lets me return to his side.

Louis looks really frightened when he sees me. I feel stupid and heartbroken that he seems scared of me. I drop next to the sofa and my head droops onto Louis's arm. I stay silent, and just relish the fact he's awake.  
After a few moments of silence, I feel a wary hand stroking my hair. I know it's Louis. There are so many thoughts going through my head I realize I CAN'T speak.  
"Lou, are you hurting anywhere?"  
I feel Louis shift underneath me. I adjust my position on his arm. He keeps stroking my curls.  
"Something hurts near my elbow, and on my ankle," he admits. I hear someone moving. "That's where he got hurt, isn't it, Harry?" Paul asks. I don't respond for a second, then I nod.  
"Hurt? What are you talking about?" Louis says, sounding fearful again. I hate it when he sounds like this. "Zayn? Niall? Harry?"  
I hear fidgeting. Then Niall replies atlast. "Something happened to you, Lou. I don't know what - "  
"You were HURT, Lou," I interrupted, lifting my head to look at him. I feel tears in my eyes again, but I stop them from flowing. "You were - on the floor - and - you wouldn't - wake up - "  
I stop and put my head down again. He stops stroking my hair, and I miss his hand in my hair.

"Again?" he whispers. "How did it happen again?"  
Nobody replies.  
"Would someone please say something?" Louis gasps. I hear tears in his voice, and I climb onto the sofa with him, hugging him.  
"Yes, again, Lou," I say into his shirt. But he still hears it.  
"So - Harry was right? There's something - wrong with me?" I feel something wet in my hair, and I feel horrified.  
I look up at him angrily. "NO. I was upset then. There's NOTHING wrong with you, Louis, ok? You're FINE. Right guys?"  
Nobody says anything. "Beleive me, Louis. Please. We'll just get thos cuts fixed up, and - "  
"Harry," Louis rasps, sounding panicky, "Why are there knives in your door? And why are- are - are they bloody? D - did I do that?" "NO! I did that! Louis, you're fine! I just got really scared when you fell! It- its probably just sleepwalking, and you knocked the knives over. It hurt you, but- but you're ok! OK?"  
Paul touches my arm warningly, and I bury my head back into his shirt. I struggle to stop myself from doing anything rash - like screaming, which I feel like doing.

"Excuse me?"  
I freeze. "Yes...?" Liam replies cautiously.  
"I'm the doctor, here for a Mr. Tomlinson?"  
I feel Louis flinch under me, and I wrap my arms around him. "You'll be fine, boo bear," I whisper. I don't think he heard me. But I get up, squeeze his hand, and stand. Somebody squeezes my shoulder.  
"Don't break down, ok? For Louis," Paul mumbles. I nod faintly. Then things rush by quickly, in a blur... Louis getting MORE stitches... Louis sleeping... the lads eating and talking... the doctor leaving... Louis looking at me...  
"Harry? Harry?"  
I focus on Louis. He's looking at me, puzzled. His expression clears.  
"Harry, I think you need to sleep too... you look tired."  
I don't argue, but sink onto the couch next to Louis. It's a big couch, anyway. I hear somebody protesting, but being cut off by somebody else.  
I adjust myself so I don't hurt Louis, or his freshly stitched wounds, and fall asleep almost instantly with his arm as my pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

"Louis?" I call. My voice echoes in the big room. "Louis?"  
"Harry," a voice croaks. I run to the corner of the giant, empty area. Louis's sitting there. He's bleeding. From his arms, legs, face, chest... I feel faint.  
"Lou-" I whisper, blood roaring in my ears. He raises a hand, pointing behind me.  
I turn around, and see a dark hooded figure darting for me. I raise my hands for protection, just as he plunges a knife into my heart -

I wake up gasping, my vision blurry.  
"Hey, Harry, you're awake," someone says. I think it's Niall.  
I realize my fists are clenched. One on something velvety, another on someone's hand. I slowly unclench them, and blink a few times. The TV is on. All the lads are here.  
"Wha-what are you doing here?" I ask. My mind is still groggy.  
"We're staying the night," Niall explains patiently. It was him talking before. "Just incase."  
I hear the 'just incase', and I bite my lip. Then I look behind me. Louis's there, smiling at me. It was his hand I held. I know because it has red finger marks on it.  
"Sorry," I mumble, kissing his palm. "Bad dream."  
"Thought so," Louis says quietly, but sweetly. He plays with my hair, and I turn back to face the TV. We're watching 'Twilight'.  
"Who put on Twilight?" I groan. Zayn frowns. "I did."  
"Who didn't stop him?" I ask. Everybody raises their hands. Oh well. It's not a bad movie. I'm just not in the mood to watch it. All I want to do is curl up with Louis and make sure he was ok.  
But he was ok. The others staying here would help me. I decide not to worry about it.  
Twilight finishes, and Zayn sighs, and rolls over on the rug to face me. "So... whaddayawanna do?"  
I shrug. I've already updated Twitter. I look at Liam. "Whaddayawanna do?"  
Liam looks thoughtful. "Well... I've been thinking we should sleep."  
Niall snorts. "Sleep?"

But I start to consider it. Sleep isn't a bad idea. I'm not sleepy, but I think Lou is, and the boys deserve their sleep.  
"Alright. Sleep it is," I decide. "Here, or what?"  
"I think Harry's room," Zayn votes. The others agree. I'm not so sure, but I agree.

Louis's mattress is dragged into my room, which takes a lot of huffing and puffing from the boy but its soon done. I bring out the extra pillows and blankets Lou and I always keep in my cuboard.  
Liam and Zayn crash on the bed while Louis, Niall and I flop down on the mattress. The room is nice and snug, filled with all of us. I feel confident. Louis will be fine ttonight.  
But a shard of doubt is buried underneath it.

" 'Night, guys," Liam yawns. Zayn echoes him, and they both fall asleep almost instantly. Louis is already asleep. Niall and I talk about random things for a while, then he drifts off.  
It's quiet. I feel a bit scared. If someone really HAS come into the apartment... will they come again?  
No, I chided myself. Not tonight. And I prop myself up on one arm, and begin to read the book I brought with me to bed. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Should keep me awake.  
I'm more than halfway through - and still pretty awake - when I hear a moan. My eyes immediately train on Louis. His eyes are closed, and he's breathing normally.  
I'm beginning to think I imagined it when suddenly his leg jerks violently. Then the other. All at once, he's thrashing about madly.  
"Lou!" I call, trying to calm him, trying to tuck my arms around him. But he's too strong.  
The others are turning about in their sleep. "L - MMMPH!"  
I'm completely caught off guard when something is tied around my mouth. I'm in shock. Louis sits up, looking at me. I can't beleive what's happening. He pushes me into my bathroom, and I hear it locking. I feel dizzy with shock.  
I hear a door opening. My senses suddenly reappear and I wrestle with the thing in my mouth, but its tied tightly, almost painfully.  
I pull at the door but it doesn't open.  
What the hell happened?  
I bang on the door furiously. "MMMMMMPH! MNNNUGGGGGHHHH!" I scream as loud as I can. Its not that loud with me being gagged.  
I kick and punch and hit the door as hard as I can. I need to stop Louis - from doing whatever he's doing.  
I hear a 'Huh?" drifting from behind the door.  
I scream again. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!"  
My throat hurts. I bang on the door again and again, despite my hands hurting.  
In releif, I hear shouts and yells. Someone jiggles with the door. "Louis?"  
"MMMMNNNGHHHHHHH!" I shout, but its not understandable. I hear the lock clicking and the door falls open. A freaked-out Niall is there.  
I push past him and run outside, outside my room, still gagged. I can think only of Louis, Louis, Louis.

I see Liam and Zayn wrestling with Louis. His eyes are open, and he's screaming wildly, fighting. I run to them, to Louis. Louis looks at me furiously. But I grab his arms. "Mmmhh! Mnnnuhhghhhhhh - " I plead, as he knees me in the stomach.  
I fall back, my stomach aching. I can barely breathe, my stomach hurting so badly. I look at him in surprise and pain.  
But he looks back at me angrily. Not like he is. Not like my boo bear.

Liam has his arms locked behind him. Zayn grabs him around the waist and Niall helps bring him to the couch - the same couch I lay him down on less than twenty four hours ago.  
Louis fights furiously - and suddenly he goes completely limp. Niall, infront, grabs his shoulders. Liam releases his arms, and helps hold him. I'm on the floor, staring.

They let Louis lie on the couch, where he lies limply. Then Liam comes and unties my gag. My mouth is tingling.  
'Wha - " Niall asks, but I cut him off.  
"Louis did it." I confirm shakily, feeling more tears erupt in my eyes. But I don't care.  
What is going on?


	4. Chapter 4

**Louis's POV:**

I open my eyes groggily. I feel exhausted for some reason. I feel for Harry next to me, but my hand only feels air. I try to pat the mattress, but there isn't one.  
No mattress?  
I blink several times, trying to clear my vision. This isn't Harry's room. This is the lounge.  _Oh, no._

I sit up quickly despite the pain in my head. All the lads are here. Liam and Harry are asleep, but Zayn and Niall are awake, watching me. They all look as tired as I feel.  
I feel dizzy in shock.

Zayn and Liam both have bruises on their arms, and Zayn has one on his neck. Niall looks okay, despite his drooping eyelids. But when I look at Harry, I feel faint.  
Tear stains track his cheeks. His hands are slightly swollen. And, most shocking of all, he has a faint bruising around his mouth, and up to his jaw. Like somebody gagged him.

 _Somebody gagged him._  
I whimper in fear, and Zayn comes to comfort me, but I shrink away from him. "What happened?" I whisper. Blood rushes through my head. I fight to keep myself from fainting.  
"Lou-" Zayn says softly, but his tone implies that it was me. Me.  _Me._  
I scream as loud as I can. Liam and Harry jump awake, and an awful feeling passes through my head. I don't know whats going on, but I shut my eyes in attempt to feel better.  
*******************************

I open my eyes groggily. I feel exhausted for some reason. I feel for Harry next to me, but my hand only feels air. I try to pat the mattress, but there isn't one.  
No mattress?  
And I remember what happened before.  
I don't, actually. All I remember is screaming, and that awful feeling in my head that made me want to throw up. Then I think I was sleeping again, my head swirling with dreams.  
I'm lying down on the sofa, and my legs are propped up on cushions. I don't know whats happened.  
"Lou? Louis, can you hear me?"  
I can't speak. I take deep breaths. I nod. Faintly, I feel tears running down the side of my face.  
"He can hear us. Niall, get some water." Liam's talking.  
I don't really want water, but then again, I don't know what happened.

Zayn seems to understand that I'm confused, so he speaks."Louis, you fainted."  
Fainted? That wasn't fainted. Or was it? If it was, then all the descriptions I've read are totally rubbish. Everything doesn't go black. You don't feel anything, except for that queasy feeling. I thought I was sleeping. It felt like I was. Then I woke up. Here.  
Water is presented to me, but I don't feel like getting up to drink it, so I drink it from a straw. It doesn't do anything.  
"Why am I drinking water?" I ask.  
"Because you need to replace the liquids in your system. When was the last time you drank something?" Liam asked. I think. "Yesterday... sometime."  
"Well, drinking water will help you recover quicker," Niall said firmly. "So drink."  
I did.  
"Where's Harry?" I finally ask. I know they're waiting for me to ask.  
"Lou?"  
I crane my neck to look at my room door. Which Harry is coming out off.  
There are still bruises on his face. I shut my eyes. Looking at them makes me feel sick.  
"Is he... awake?" he asks.  
"Yes." Liam confirms.  
After a few moments, I feel somebody coming close to me.  
"Hi, Louis," Harry says, his voice cracking at the end. I feel his hand touching my hair, and for some reason, I wince.  
I hear a suppressed sob, then somebody runs away. I sit up.  
"Harry!" I cry, but I only get a door slam in return. I feel so miserable. I've made Harry cry, and possibly hurt the whole band. I lie down, and start sobbing myself. Zayn and Liam try to comfort me.  
 _What is going on?_


	5. Chapter 5

Harry's POV:

I slam the door behind me, tears streaming down my face. I lean against a wall, trying to contain my tears, but it doesn't work, and I slide down the wall, the cool, smooth surfae releif on my hot body.  
He had seemed like the Lou I had known for what felt like ages, but only for a year or so. But The way he winced when I touched him... I had broke down instantly.

I bury my head in my elbows, trying to quiet down my sobs. I hear the door open, then close gently. I ignore the person that kneels next to me. I want to be alone.  
"Harry," Liam says softly.  
"Go away," I say with as much venom I can summon. But he doesn't move.  
"Haz, Louis's really upset right now. He looked like he was gonna cry when you left. Please, go back," Liam urges me. But I keep myself clenched down. I can't see Louis right now. I just can't.  
"Go AWAY," I repeat, my voice catching at the end, but I didn't move.  
"Haz," Liam sighs. I raise my head and look at him, fresh tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "I CAN'T go, Li. Why don't you understand?" I ask angrily. I don't even know why. But going back... I can't.

"No! No! LET ME GO!" somebody screams. I gasp. Not again... please, no, Louis...  
Somebody bursts in, staggering. I know it's Louis, and I'm scared to death, though I wish I wasn't. What will he do to me? My mouth aches as if a reminder.

Louis collapses infront of me, and in alarm, I uncurl from my position, and bring his head into my lap. His eyes are rolling in his head.  
"Lou? Louis? Louis, can you hear me?" I ask, panickingly. Suddenly, he sits and wraps his arms around me. He's still breathing hard, and I have to hold him up so he doesn't fall.  
"Haz," Louis says raggedly. "Haz."  
I keep my arms around him. What I was feeling before has vanished. "I'm here, Lou. I'm right here."  
"I'm sorry," he gasps. "I - I'm sorry."  
"Shhh," I comfort him. I don't care what happened before. "You need to rest, Lou. Ok?"  
There's a moment where it's just him breathing. "Ok," he says finally. I hug him tightly, and I look at Zayn, a bit bewildered.  
Couldn't stop him, he mouthed. I smile breifly.  
That's my Louis.

He finally fell asleep, on the mattress, in my arms, surrounded by us. When he does, Niall jumps up.  
"I'm going to get some Nando's."  
No surprise there.  
"You want anything?"  
"Chicken wings," Zayn chirped.  
"Mozarella sticks." I say.  
Nothing for Liam. "Alright, be back soon." Niall waves goodbye as he takes his sweater and leaves.

"So... what do you think it is?" Liam asks. I clench my hands. I don't want to know what it IS. I want to know how to stop it. Yes, I know how irrational that sounds.  
"I think it's sleepwalking. That's why he seems so awake, but not like himself."  
"That doesn't explain why he gagged me." I say, feeling angry.  
"Maybe he was dreaming aswell," Zayn suggests. I hate discussing this. I lean back onto the bed end, and close my eyes.  
"Harry? You aren't going to sleep, are you?"  
"Don't be silly," I snap. "I'm resting."  
I know I'm being harsh.  
"Sorry." I mumble. There's silence for a few moments.  
"So... got any more ideas?" I say uncomfortably. More silence. "Maybe he's having nightmares."  
I don't like the sound of that. "Nightmares... as in?"  
"I don't really know. But it sounds like it might be."  
We sit in silence for a while longer. "But - "  
We all freeze.  
Louis is moving.

Hi, everyone! Thanks for reading, and PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE review because it means the world to me. Also, somebody reviewed on my other story that 1D fanfics arent allowed here. If any of my stories are removed, I will tell you where to find them on my profile. Also, we don't write fanfics about One Direction, we write them FOR One Direction. We aren't being disrepctful. And sorry for the short chap! Luv ya!


	6. Chapter 6

"No," Louis breathes. We all stare at him, frozen. We don't know what to do.  
"NO."  
"Lou." My voice cracks from fear. Fear of what is going to happen.  
"NO! Go away!" Louis shouts, and he sits upright. His eyes are open, but I don't think he can see me. He tries to stand, but Zayn and Liam hold him down. I try to reason with him.  
"Lou, listen. You're not awa-"  
Louis smashes his fist into my face. I fall backwards, dazed with the blow. Over the rush of blood in my head, I hear Zayn scream my name.  
I am lost. I don't remember why I'm here. I faintly here struggling, but I don't really care. My nose hurts.  
Someone is yelling my name. Again and again and again.  
Is it Zayn? Liam?  
"Yes?" I reply. My voice sounds weird.  
Niall? Louis?  
Louis.  
I sit up,and the world refuses to stay still. I sway and almost fall again. But I manage to sit properly. I feel my face. My nose is wet. Oh, no, I'm bleeding.  
Zayn is on the floor. Liam is holding Louis around the waist, when Louis slams his elbow into his stomach. Liam falls aswell.  
I stumble to my feet.  
"Louis, please," I groan. "Listen to me." He only looks at me in rage and runs away, outside the room.  
Just as Niall opens the door.  
Fear crashes over me like a waterfall. Louis is right infront of Niall. Niall drops the food - Louis is so much more important than Nandos, even Niall knows that - and grabs his arms. The Irish boy must understand Louis isn't himself right now.  
"Louis!" He shouts. Louis isn't listening, he's struggling like an angry bull. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screams. Its the most terrifying noise I have ever heard.

"Louis, we're your FRIENDS!" I cry. Its the only thing I can think off.  
Louis glances back at me with a horrible twisted expression on his face.  
"LEAVE. ME. ALONE!" he bellows. I run to him, but he manages to overpower Niall and run into the corridor outside our apartment.  
Panic is rising around me, and in me. I tear after him, running as fast as I can, as fast I ever will be able to. Because its Louis. And I'll only need to run for him.  
I'm close to him. I take my chances, and leap onto him, praying that I will reach him.  
My prayers are answered.  
I tackle Louis full-force around the knees, where he buckles and falls. I am almost crushed in the process, but I fall a foot away from him.  
As soon as I hit the ground, I crawl over to him and lie ontop of him, restraining him, stopping him from doing whatever he was going to do.

I hear footsteps thumping behind me, and the lads shouting. They all fall next to me, and we turn Louis over.  
He's thrashing hard, but we all have him held down. Our combined strangth is enough.  
"Louis," I gasp. "We're your friends."  
Louis sobs. He's not thrashing anymore. "Stop telling me that," he whimpers.  
Liam still looks in pain. He's bending over slightly. Zayn is wincing slightly whenever he moves.  
"Please. Leave me alone," Louis begs. He looks so torn up. I desperately want to let him go.  
But Niall looks at me. "Don't," he says quietly.  
Louis evidently hears this, and moans. "Please. Stop hurting me." My heart is breaking. My grip is weakening.  
"Please."  
My arms are trembling. I can't do this.  
"I can't do this," I tell the boys, trembling. "I just can't."  
And I let go as I collapse.  
As the worl spins, I don't hear anything. I hope Louis doesn't get up. I hope so.  
And I take a deep breath.

Hi again! Two short chapters in one day instead of one. Ok?  
And yes, that is what actually happens to me when I faint. I just do one random thing, and then I'm sleeping. You dont realize you fall asleep right? Same with fainting. BTW Harry has fainted. K?  
REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

Louis's POV:

It feels so much like a dream.  
But I don't pinch myself because I know it's not.  
The walls seem to appear and reappear everywhere, making rooms, corridors, and doors. I'm afraid to touch anything. I just keep searching for that one door.

Louis...  
I hesitate. What's that?  
Thats the creepy noise that comes in the spooky house in horror movies, a part of me says, freaking out. So move on.  
But I could've sworn it said Louis, another part argues. Wait a minute.  
I keep still for a moment longer.

Louis...  
Ha! It did say Louis, the second part cheers.  
When the unknown voice calls your name, you're supposed to RUN, the other protests. Run, Louis!

But I don't. I can hear the voice from behind this door. I need to see who it is. Maybe it's one of the lads, maybe a paparazzi, maybe a fan... anyone is fine by me. Just being alone is starting to freak me out.

I open the door.  
I can see a curled up figure in the corner - with chocolately curly hair.  
I feel releif crack in me like water overcoming a dam. "Harry," I breathe, going to him. But then he looks up at me.

There is a jagged mark across his perfect face, and his eyes are blood-red.  
"Louis," Harry says, smiling. "Come give me a hug."  
I stare at him, terrified. "No," I whisper. The walls seem to be crumbling around us.  
"Come 'ere, Louis," he persuades. "I'm not going to hurt you." He stands, and outstretches his arms towards me.  
"NO," I say, trying to be firm, but my voice shakes. He has a crooked grin on his face. He closes the distance between us.

"Come and be with me."  
"NO! GO AWAY!" I scream. Terror overtakes me as I attempt to run out of the room, but the door slams shut, and this evil Harry grabs my arm.  
"Come, Louis," he croons. I thrash out of his grip, and try to run out again, when two dark figures restrain me. I feel something wet on my arm. I know its blood.  
"Louis, talk to me," Harry says, stroking my hair. I want to scream, but a dark figure claps his hand over my mouth. I stare at the awful image of Harry, trying to find the real him in his eyes, but they are solid red, and evil.

"Louis, why don't you get it? You're not important. You're hurting the band right now. Look." Harry points at the door. I don't see anything, but I hear screams. Niall, Liam, Zayn.  
I can't speak, I'm so angry and terrified. I just keep staring at him. "Louis." Harry twirls pieces of my hair. Shivers run down my spine. "I don't care about you. And the others hate you now. You've trapped them in eternal torture. How did you ever believe that you had friends?"  
Suddenly, the door opens. I yank myself free, and run to it. Another dark figure blocks the way, and I push at him. My hands slip inside his cloak. To my horror, he is coated in a thick layer of blood.  
"Louis," it hisses. I fight the need to fall. I pluck up some courage.  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shreik as loud as I can.

"Louis, we're your friends," I hear Harry moan. I look back at him with newfound energy and outrage.  
"LEAVE. ME. ALONE!" I shout, and I pull myself past the bloody, dark figure.

The corridor is covered in blood, making it difficult to run, and doors are dissapearing. But the door I need to go through is right there... I can feel it...  
Something catches my knees with full force and I smash to the ground.  
Part of me shreiks in horror as I am covered with blood. My whole body hurts. Something crawls ontop of me, and I shudder thinking of what it is.  
More people grab my body parts, and I am turned onto my back.  
Harry. Liam. Zayn. Niall.  
Blood is gushing from frail Niall, Zayn, and Liam, who are looking at me with fury in their expressions. I realize I am covered in their blood. I shudder and fight the urge to retch.  
I fight furiously, but they have me pinned down.  
"Louis, we're your friends," Harry coos. I sob, and my energy fails me.  
"Stop telling me that," I gasp. "Please. Leave me alone."

"Don't," voices whisper, and the lads look at me. I know they don't plan on letting me go.  
I look at Harry, in desperation he will find his humanity. "Please," I breathe, still weeping. "Stop hurting me."

Harry looks at me in disgust, but he stands up. "You're PATHETIC, Louis. Pathetic. I'm not wasting any more energy on you. Goodbye."  
He dissapears, and the others fade away.  
I try to get up. But my muscles don't allow me. The doors close in on me, and finally, the whole place begins to crumble.  
I try to scream, but a chasm opens underneath me, and I fall down... down... down...  
************************************************** ********************************************

"No!" I shout, tears streaming down my face. I feel hot and terrified.  
"Whoa!" someone yells, as I thrash desperately. Hands rest on my arms, and I panic, thinking its the dark figures.  
I sob, and curl up into a ball. They've caught me again, I think, horrified.

"Lou! Slow down! Are you alright?"  
This voice is warm, and loving. This sounds like Liam. But he hates me...

I open my eyes a little bit. Liam and Zayn are kneeling next to me, whole and concerned. The curtains glow from sunlight.  
I was dreaming afterall.  
My breath catches in my throat for another sob. They're fine. They're ok.  
I pull them into a hug, still crying. I don't ever want to let them go.

"I - I had a - a-" I choke, and cough, tears catching in my throat.  
"Louis, calm down," Zayn says soothingly. His voice sounds like Bradford honey, to me, and I be quiet for a while.

"Harry," I gasp. "Niall?"

Two more figures appear, and I wince in memory, but its not those creatures. Its a tall, curly haired person, and a shorter blond.  
I sob again, and they crouch down with the others. I look at Niall, whose bleach-blond hair isn't matted in blood. And at Harry, whose face isn't scarred, and eyes are a shining green.

I pull them both close after releasing the others. I don't know why, but I'm still shaking, though my sobs have receded.  
"Thanks," I whisper into Harry's curls. I just need them close right now, and I'll be fine.  
"Louis..." That's Liam. "You said you had - a - what?"

I feel the dream reaching for my eyes, but I push it away mentally. Harry and Niall pull back. Harry's cat eyes are still looking at me steadily, and I'm so releived they aren't red.  
"What?" he said. I feel a rush of warmth from his sweet voice.

But still, talking about what happened brings a core of cold in my body.  
"Nightmare," I say quietly. "I had a nightmare."

Shock and fear slam down into Harry's eyes. I finally notice how under Harry's nose, there's something that looks like bloodstains. And how Liam and Zayn are both moving gingerly.  
I connect the pieces that are lying around on Harry's face, in Liam's movements, in Zayn's gaze, and in Niall's expressions.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I'm so, so sorry."  
Harry looks at me again. But this time there is noting scared or shocked in his eyes.  
I faintly hear Liam discussing with the others how we need to go to the hospital.

Harry leans in close.  
"You're going to be fine, boo bear," he murmurs, and at that moment, I just want to believe him.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry's POV:

In the car. I carefully check if Louis has dozed off yet. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is steady.  
I pull out my phone, and, bracing myself, tap 'Illness - nightmares sleepwalking' into Google Search.

Dozens of answers pop up. I scan them quickly; they all have something to do with a sleep disorder. I breath a sigh of relief. I know that sleep disoders are usually curable, with the right time and medicene.  
I check a few. They explain the dream phase 'REM', for Rapid-Eye Movement, is when people normally start sleepwalking or having nightmares.

When I tap one particular answer, something popped up on the screen.  
'RBD.'  
I scroll down.  
Night terrors... sleepwalking... might punch, kick, respond... in extreme cases the patient gets out of bed... probably remember the nightmare... don't realize they acted out said night terror...

My breath caught in my throat. This sounds alot like what Louis was doing.

I replace the search question with 'Causes RBD'.  
Different answers pop up. I check a few. They all said unknown. Some cases were heriditery, and some were related to other diseases, like Parkinson's disease.

I type in 'Parkinson's Disease'. I choose the link to Wikipedia.  
I haven't noticed any of these symptoms mentioned, so I go back.

I check one last thing.  
'Is RBD dangerous?'

I tap on one answer, and read through it briefly.  
Most cases is not dangerous... very unlikely... however unfortunate accidents... bed partner murdered...

I immediately close the tab, sickened. I turn off my phone and stuff it into my pocket, doing my best not to wake Louis.  
I lean my head onto Louis's, which is resting underneath my chin.

"Oh, boo," I murmur. "What's going on?"

Zayn looks at me. "Did you say anything?" he says quietly. Liam is resting against him, sleeping.

I ignore his question. "Louis, are you awake?" I ask in hushed tones. He doesn't respond, but let out a little snort.

"Zayn, I found something online... it was called RBD," I explain quietly. He leans in, listening attentively. Niall also looks at me in interest.  
"It's a sleep disorder."  
Releif spreads across Zayn's features. Obviously, he's also heard that disorders are pretty easy to fix. "Ok, so?" he asks.

"The patient usually starts kicking and punching, sometimes talking back, and, in some cases, gets out of bed."

"So... if Lou does have it, he has an extreme case," Zayn says slowly. I shrug - well, sort of, as much as I can without waking Louis.

"But it can get dangerous. There have been a few... accidents..." I swallow and look at him. Liam stirs in his sleep.

Zayn rubs my arm in an attempt to comfort me. "Relax, Haz. He'll do anything to get better, I know it."

"Even stay in a mental ward?" The words spring out of my mouth before my brain can stop them.  
Zayn stares at me. My hand jumps to my mouth, clamping it shut. I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I look away from him, with my hand still over my mouth.

My thoughts are rushing, considering what I had said. Will Louis actually have to stay - in a ward? Is his disorder that bad? Does he even HAVE a disorder? Does he have a real disease?

I shudder at the thought. I push to the edge of my consiousness.  
So... what could it be?

The car slows down to a stop. Liam sits up, bleary-eyed, hair a mess. Zayn sweeps his hand through it, sighing, and it looks considerably better.

My hand is still over my mouth, and I slowly let it go, biting my tongue to remind myself not to speak like that.

It comes to touch Louis's head, and he stirs.  
"Lou," I call softly. "Time to get up."

He stirs again. "Now?"  
"Yes, now."

"I don't want to," he whispers. I don't know what to do.

"Well," I say atlast, "I think you have too. Come on, Lou, just for a while."

I don't think he has realized where we are yet. "Ok," he mumbles, and gets up, stretching. I get out the car, and give him a hand outside.

He shivers from the sudden hit of cold outside. It just rained, and the atmosphere is very cool.

"Haz, I'm scared."

I wrap him into a one-arm hug as we all walk to the hospital door.

"It's gonna be ok, Louis," I say soothingly. "Just a check up, and if you're unlucky, some medicene. That's it."

Louis sighs. "I hope you're right, Hazza. I really do."

It wasn't 'just a check up'. For some reason, he has to take half a dozen tests and scans. I feel sicker every minute. Warm hands pat my hands and rub my back, but it's not comforting at all.  
Atlast Louis was put to sleep with the help of some drugs, and the doctor came to talk to us.

"What's up, Doctor?" Niall asks. The doctor is frowning.  
"First, I need some facts. He's been sleepwalking and having nightmares?"

Liam nods. "He just gets up and starts screaming and fighting with us. He even gagged Harry."

The doctor looks at me. I remain silent, too tired and sick and miserable to speak.

"When did you first notice this?" he asks.

"Three nights ago," Zayn says, looking at me. Then his gaze returned to the doctor."He trashed his room and broke the bathroom mirror. Then - I don't actually know what happened."

"Who does?" the doctor asks, looking impatient. All gazes fall on me.

I don't want to say anything. But they all look expectant. "Second night I found him on our kitchen floor next to two knives which injured him. Last night he gagged me and fought with Liam and Zayn who were restraining him."

"Anything else?" he questions.

"Today, he was napping, and he got up and overpowered all of us. We finally got him to the floor, and - " I suddenly remember falling unconsious then, and look at the lads.

"And nothing," Liam puts in. "He fell asleep again. He looks so awake when he does this stuff; his eyes are open and everything. Doc," a note of desperation is now in his voice, "What is it?"

"I'm sorry to say, I don't know. It seems considerably like a particular parasomnia; rapid eye movement sleep behavior disorder. Otherwise known as RBD. Ever heard of it?"

Liam shakes his head, but the rest of us nod. "Harry found it," Niall explains. The doctor's eyes find me again in an uncomfortably stern gaze.

"The best guess is RBD. But this has other things in it too; RBD patients never keep their eyes open, for example. He might also have another disorder, if he indeed DOES have RBD."

I feel despair plunge into the pit of my stomach. "How do you not know what it is?" I say a bit angrily.

"Because we've run our tests and scans and it doesn't show anything certain. However, I will give him melatonin, which is very effective for this disorder, after a while."

"How long is a while?" Liam asks. He considers.

"Weeks. Months. Hard to tell for different patients."

"Months?!" I explode. "Isn't there a quicker cure?"

"If we find the cause, then perhaps. Otherwise, this will make it better."

"Wait," I say suddenly, horror-filled, "There isn't a proper cure?"

"Some people say melatonin and Clonazepam ARE the cure. But if not, then this should minimize the - should I say, damage."

That was enough. I stood up and strode off. "I'm going for a walk," I called back stonily. Nobody stops me.

As soon as I felt like I was out of earshot, I began to run. My feet pound the floor.  
I ran into the back gardens of the hospital. They're surprisingly pretty, probably so patients can enjoy the scenery when they come outside.  
IF they come outside.  
I run into a giant bush and collapsed next to it, not surprised to feel tears running down my face, not surprised that I don't know why.  
Its not that serious. Its just a disorder. He CAN get better... its not like cancer or anything.  
But months... I don't think we'll be able to sleep in the same room as him... he could become worse...  
I curl up underneath the shade of the many leaves. I need to be alone, to think.

What could the cause be?  
How long has he had it for?  
Has this been going on for so long?  
Will he need to STAY in the hospital?  
Will they let him come to concerts?  
Will he be okay?

I heard footsteps coming, and I instinctively keep frozen.

"Harry?"

I move. "Down here," I whisper.  
Louis crouches down next to me. I look at how he looks slightly greived, but determined and strong. But then I look at his eyes, and I see how scared he is. Beyond imagination.

I sit up. "Louis, don't be scared. Its just a disorder. It's nothing serious."  
Louis half snorts, half sobs. "Then why are you hiding and crying underneath a bush?"

It's my turn to half-snort, half sob. "I don't know, actually. I just wanted to be alone. But I don't mind that you're here."

"Good," he replies simply. He crawls underneath the giant bush with me, and hugs his knees up to his chest, and rests his head on his knees.

"Aren't you sleepy?" I ask. He smiles sheepishly. "A bit," Louis admits, "But I wanted to see you more."

"Oh. Lou, you know I would've come to meet you. Lets get you back to bed," I declare, trying to stand, but he pulls me back down.

"No, I don't want to get up now. Just... let me sleep with you."  
I sigh. "The boys will freak at our dissapearance. They'll think we ran away and got married."

Louis snorts and laughs. "Really, Harry?"

"Maybe not got married. But still!"

"C'mon, Hazza," Louis moans, lying down underneath the leaves and using my thigh as a pillow. "Lemme sleep..."

"Louis, I will carry you back if I have too. I was planning on going back soon anyway," I insist.

"Mm-hmm," he mutters.

"I'm not joking!" Though obviously, I am. "Let's get you back."

But he doesn't respond. "Lou?" I ask, surprised, and look at him.  
He's snoring slightly.

"Really?" I say to nobody. I don't have the heart to wake him up again, or the strength to carry him back, so I pull out my iPhone and text Liam, 'Lou's here with me. He fell asleep. B bck in a while."  
I get a reply almost instantly. Doc wants him, wake him up.

Louis looks so adorable I don't WANT to wake him. But I shake him, anyway. He moans softly. "Haz..." he murmurs.

I give in and decide to carry him, though I don't think I'll last for long.

"Lou, I am resorting to carrying you. So atleast hold on?"

I scoop him up, and he's surprisingly light. Has he been losing weight? I worry. Louis mumbles something incomprehensible, and clings to my shirt. He cuddles up into my neck.

I get strange looks from nurses, but I shake my head when they ask if somethings wrong.  
"Fell asleep," I tell one, who looks at Louis in a fond way. "Poor, tired thing," She says, and goes back to fiddling inside a medicene cabinet.

I reach the hall where I was sitting previously. The boys are there. Niall and Liam shoot to their feet in alarm when they see Louis in my arms, but I shake my head to signal he's fine.  
I sit on my previous seat, Louis still curled up in my arms.

"I didn't feel like waking him up," I admit, as they all look at me curiously. "So, what's doc want?"

"They're gonna run more tests on him, and find the best way to get rid of the nightmares and stuff," Niall says. "The rapid eye movement sleep behavior disorder," I correct him. He looks at me, baffled.  
"The RBD," I say instead. Niall nods, now understanding.

The doctor reappears, and I notice a name plate fixed onto his white coat; Henry.  
He spots Louis snoring in my lap.

"Ah, the patient. Can you bring him to his room?"

THE PATIENT has a name, I feel like telling him, but I hold my tongue and pick Lou up again. Then his words properly register in my mind - and I'm guessing the others too.

"Does he have to stay the night?" Niall asks, sounding slightly alarmed.

"Ofcourse. How better way can we check his condition other than witnessing it ourselves?" Dr. Henry - I think I prefer him as Doctor - asks, raising his eyebrows.

"What he means is, we're staying the night with him, aren't we?" Liam says. Niall looks a bit insulted from the doc's comment, but stays silent.

"If you wish too. But only two people," he adds sharply. I look at the rest of the group, who are all exchanging glances.

"Which one of us is staying then, lads?" Niall asks, exchanging looks with Zayn and Liam.

I butt in. "Doc said 2 people are allowed to stay. Remember?"

Zayn looks confused by my comment, and so does Liam. For a moment I wonder if I heard wrong.  
"And...?" Zayn says.

"So why are you saying, 'Which one of us' ?"

Niall snorts. "Which one of US." He gestures at the three of them. "You're definitely staying."

I'm so relieved, but then I feel selfish. "No, guys, we should vote fairly - "

Liam sighs. "Harry, we all vote you as one. Why?" he adds as I open my mouth. "Because one, your Lou's best friend, two, you will not stop panicking about this if we take you home and none of us feel like putting anybody under your torture."

I bite my lip, but I dont WANT to argue. Liam, who could see that, leans back, satisfied.

"Three," Niall adds suddenly, "Aren't your arms hurting, Haz?"

I realize they ARE starting to tire, so I push open the door to the room Louis will be staying in for the night. And me. I exhale my relief.

I bend and gently drop Louis on the bed, and cover him partially with the blanket. Then, on instinct, I kiss his forehead.

"I'll be back, Boo," I mumble. "I'm coming."

"You love him a lot, don't you?"  
I jump in shock, and turn. Dr. Henry is looking at me with a strange expression on his face.

Still in shock, I stumble backwards.

"Yes," I say numbly. "More than you know." Then I stumble out.

Hiya! Sorry but my updates will be less frequent nw on... sorry! And for one particular review, I hope this is long enough for you! Here ya go!


	9. Chapter 9

Back at the hospital. The boys finally decided on Zayn staying back with me, though I don't know why. But I know they'll have good reasons.  
I curl up on the chair I'm sitting in, and look at Zayn, who is lying down on the sofa, eyes closed. Louis is fast asleep, snoring.

"Zayn?" I murmur, wondering if he's asleep. But he replies, "Yeah?"  
I shift a bit. "Do you think Lou will be okay?"  
I know I sound like a child. But Zayn sits up and looks at me firmly.

"Haz," he says, "I know Louis will be okay."  
I don't ask how he knows, because I'm pretty sure he'll say, "I don't know."

I lean my head on the wall, and look at Louis. His face is a picture of serenity and vulnerability. He looks completely fine. But he's not, is he?  
I ignore the haunting voice in my head, and keep gazing at him. His face is like a strange reassurance to me. I barely feel my eyelids closing until they fall shut, and I slip into darkness.  
********************************

I wake up, confused. My neck is aching badly, and I'm stiff. I'm looking into darkness, but beyond the darkness, everything is white. White walls, bed, table...  
Where...?  
I hear a moan. Immediately I spring to my feet. Zayn is awakening aswell.  
He looks at me through half-closed eyes, then gazes around. Another moan, and a grunt.

Is that... Louis?  
I go to the bed anxiously.  
His face is pale, but sweaty. Infact, he's covered in a sheen of sweat.  
His lips part, and another groan escapes them.

"N..." Louis whispers. He twitches, and suddenly he shudders.  
His eyes are screwed shut.

"Zayn," I say under my breath. He's already at my shoulder.

"What do we do?" I mutter, feeling panicky already.

I hear the door open, and then hear someone coming.

"Doctor," Zayn breathes. I frown. I'm not feeling too comfortable with aroud. The way he looked at me before... I don't want to know what he was thinking.

I hear shuffles, then I see Dr. Henry at the other side of the bed, looking at Louis, who suddenly gasps.

"I see," The doctor muses.

I feel really angry then. "You see WHAT? That he's having a nightmare? Can't you DO anything about that?"

Dr. Henry looks at me like how he did at Niall when he asked if Louis was staying the night. Now I know how Niall feels; stupid and irritated.

"We have treatment, but medicenes should be administerd before sleep. Right now it won't be that effective."

I bite my lip, and don't say anything. Slowly, I reach out and touch Louis's hand. He moans again, quieter then before.

"Still reacting under sleeping pills,"Dr. Hnery mutters. "Strange..."

And he looks at me again. I fight the urge to slap him upside the head, honestly.

"Alright, then, boys; nothing to do until morning. We'll talk then." He nods curtly at me, then Zayn, then he leaves.

I facepalm. Zayn looks at me, a pained yet amused expression on his face.

"I feel like punching him," I mutter through gritted teeth. I don't even know why, though, he's just doing his job. But I truly want to hit him - punch him, slap him, whatever.

"Your aura of anger overrides you," he says sarcastically. Then he becomes serious. "So...?"

I stubbornly climb into the bed with Louis, mentally preparing myself for any fighting. But he doesn't try to hurt me at all; his lip quivers, and thats all. I carefully wind my arms around his waist, and cuddle up to his back.

"Hey, its more comfortable then that chair," I point out, when Zayn almost laughs at how compact I've become.

"No, I'm not laughing at your sadly squished position. I'm laughing because you guys look really cute," protests Zayn.

I don't reply, but snuggle down closer to him, and close my eyes. I hear Zayn lying back down on the sofa, and then let my mind go blank...  
*************************************************

"Haz," I hear a voice say. "Haaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ."  
I wearily open my eyes. My sleep was restless, and I don't feel much refreshed.

Louis's face is surprisingly close; I jerk my head back, and bang it on the metal head of the bed.

"Ouch," I moan, and I hear laughter. I open my eyes again, rubbing my hand on the injured spot.  
Zayn is laughing next to Louis, who is now sitting up, grinning at me. He looks a bit tired, but otherwise fine.

I sit up slowly. "Hey," I yawn, smiling. "What time is it?"

"About noon," Zayn answers. My eyes open wide. Oops.

"When did you guys wake up?" I ask. Zayn smirks.

"Well," Louis says loudly, "I was just waking up when I saw this giant creature infront of me that hadn't been there last night, and I fell of the bed in my surprise, waking up Zayn."

I wince. "Sorry, Lou."

He shrugs. "Nah, it was 10 o'clock anyway."

I remember something. "Did you have any nightmares?"

Louis fidgets with his fingers. "Yes," he admits. "Not a really bad one... but it was..."

"I know," I say simply, and he smiles a bit, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

The door opens, and I start. The doctor comes in... followed by Niall and Liam. I feel relieved; not another talk from the doctor.

"Louis!" Niall jumps up and hugs him. Liam looks glad that Louis is up and smiling.

"Lou, how're you feeling?" Liam asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Good, actually... a lot better then the last few nights," replies Louis.

"The sleeping pills did that," Doc interrupted. I wince in annoyance. I REALLY don't like him, do I? part of me asks.  
No duh, Sherlock, the other retorts.

"How?" Zayn asks. Niall pretty much looks as irritated at his presence as I feel.

"You were put into a deeper sleep then you normally sleep in. And your sleep wasn't natural," Dr. Henry explains. "So, your mind had to get used to your new sleeping ways, and didn't throw a nightmare at you."

"Throw a nightmare at me...?" Louis asks slowly.

"Yes," The doctor says, with such patience, I feel annoyed again. "I believe there is something troubling your subconsious, and it's not letting you sleep because its trying to tell you something. So, Mr. Tomlinson, what was your dream about?"

"Wait, what?" Louis says, looking confused and a bit scared. I rub his arm to remind him we're here, and that he shouldn't be scared.

"Can you explain what happens in your dreams?" Dr. Henry says slowly. I feel the urge to slap him again. "Or would you rather not?"

Louis has a peculiar expression on his face. I wonder what. "I- I'd rather not," he mumbles. Curiosity arises in me. Hmmm...?

The doctor is examining him like he did me yesterday when I kissed Louis's forehead. I feel something stir inside my stomach which I don't understand.

"Then you will have to your therapist," Dr. Henry says simply.

"Wait, therapist?" I say angrily. My will power is teetering like a broken sea-saw.

Dr. Hnery looks at, and this time he looks annoyed. "Yes, a therapist, Mr. Styles."

"Why would Lou need a therapist?" Liam asks, looking worried. So do Zayn and Niall.

"Because we're trying to find the root of the disorder. So, he needs a therapist to talk to. Don't worry, he's not going mad. Now," he changes the topic abruptedly, "Here's your medicene. You have to take this every night before you go to sleep..."

I stop listening. I'm so confused...

What could Lou be dreaming about?  
Think hard...  
But I don't know whats going on inside his head...  
Well, just think.  
Alright... maybe hes scared of something...  
Thats an obvious. Of what?  
Well...

"Harry?" I blink and snap out of my thoughts. They're all staring at me.  
"Sorry?" I ask. Louis's looking at me with another unreadable expression.

"Nothing," Louis says. I smile apologetically, and then am about to delve back into my thoughts when Liam touches my shoulder.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"D'you want to get some breakfast?" he asks, but there's a tone in his voice which says, can we talk?

"Sure. I could really do with a doughnut right now," I say brightly, but inside I wonder what he wants to talk about.

"Awesome. Do you guys want anything?" Liam asks. Only Niall asks for a muffin. Always Niall, I think.

I get up, and quickly dress. We wave goodbye, and then we walk down to the hospital's bakery.

I stop when we're at the queue, and I look at Liam.

"What's up?" I ask, curious.

Liam looks me with a gaze which is so infuriatingly like Dr. Henry's I groan.  
"Don't look at me like that, I've had enough of that doctor already, Liam," I say,looking away from him.

"Oh. Sorry."  
I look back at him. He now has a concerned look on his face.

"Have you had an argument with Lou recently?" he asks. I blink.

"No," I say, bewildered. "What the hell, Li?"

"Sorry," he sighs, sweeping his messy, wavy hair out of his face. "It's just..."

"Just...?" I prompt him. He doesn't speak for a few moments.

"Dr. Henry said that he might be feeling angry or upset with somebody close to him. He mentioned Louis could have had a bad fight with you that he feels bad about... but we don't know anything yet..."

"Well," I say, feeling strange, "I haven't rowed with him at all. Are you sure it isn't Eleanor?"

Something dawns on Liam's face. "I didn't think of that... I'll have to ask her," he muttered. We reached the front of the queue. I order.

"Can I have two doughnuts and a coffee?" I ask. The girl at the counter's head jerks up to look at me.

"Ohmigosh!" she squeals. I realize whats going to happen, and mentally slap myself for forgetting.

"It's HARRY STYLES!"

Majority of the room looks at the bakery. I grin sheepishly.

A bunch of people nearby come and swarm us, calling to us.

"Harry! HARRY!"  
"Liam, I love you!"  
"Can I have your autograph?!"

I smile and take some pictures, as does Liam. When the girl gives me my order, I quickly pay, grab the bag, and duck out of the crowd.

"Ok, thank you! We have to go now!" I yell, dragging Liam with me, and run into the garden. I remember this is where I ran into the garden's from.

I pull Liam along with me to the same bush Louis and I sat under. I huddled up underneath.  
Liam looked surprised, but he also crawled into the branches, and hunched up, looking pretty uncomfortable.

I heard people running here and there, looking for us. I remain silent, and so does Liam.  
Finally there is silence. I peer outside the dense leaves.

No one.

"Clear," I say, and slide outside. Liam follows suit. He stands, stretching, and brushes leaves off himself. I do too.

"How'd you know this place?" Liam asks. I smile at the memory.

"I came here when I went for that walk, and Louis found me here," I remember. "This is where he fell asleep."  
I vaguely realize Liam is staring at me, but I ignore him. Suddenly, I remember something else.

"Liam, I think he's been losing weight," I say. He raises his eyebrows.  
"We'll check," he reassures me. Then he walks a few meters ahead of me.  
Liam looks back at me. "Coming?" He asks, looking surprised.

I realize I'm just standing there. "Oh. Yeah, ofcourse."  
I follow him, that feeling in my stomach still there. I wonder what it means.


	10. Chapter 10

Louis's POV:

Liam and Harry leave, and I'm left with Zayn and Niall... and Dr. Henry. I've already noted that Harry doesn't like him, though I'm not sure why.  
Personally, I'm relieved that they haven't made me wear hospital clothing... that would make me more scared then I am.  
No, I don't know why I'm scared of this. I know there's no reason why I should be. I'm not going to die, or have any chance of dieing because of the disorder. But I'm still frightened.

"Mr. Tomlinson," Dr. Henry says, "Do you have any idea why you would get RBD? If, you have RBD?  
No, you idiot, I want to shout at him, ofcourse I don't. If YOU don't know why, and you're a doctor, then how the hell am I supposed to know why? When I hadn't even heard of RBD before in my life?

"No," I say instead. "I have no idea."  
The doctor stares at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable, like I'm hiding something I did wrong and he knows it. But I've done nothing...

"Alright, fine," he says simply. "Have you had any recent fights with anybody close to you?"

"Fights?" I frown. "No... why?"

He dismissed me lightly. "Just a question. I will send up the proper pills and medication for you to use, and I will get a nurse to remind you to have them aswell."  
"Ok," I say, a bit annoyed at him dismissing me.

But he stops at the doorway. "And by the way, Mr. Tomlinson, you can go home, if you want. As long as you remember to take all your medicenes, then come and report your progress to us, as well as talk to your therapist. BUt it's your choice. I'll let you decide."

"Wha-" I start to say, but he's gone. I sigh, and look at Niall and Zayn.

"What do YOU wanna do, Lou?" Niall asks before I can ask them.

"I don't know, thats why I'm asking you."

Niall and Zayn looked at eachother in a sort of mutual agreement.

"We don't mind either, Louis, we only want for you to get better," Zayn states matter-of-factly. I smile to show them I appreciate it, that they only want my disorder - or, something like that disorder - to be tamed, or better yet, cured.

"Well, we'll have to wait for Liam and Harry, then," I say, shrugging.

"I wonder if they got caught by fans," Zayn muses. "Bit lot of trouble there. I hope they don't come back here with the girls on their trail."

"If they do, you're protecting me," I declare, clutching both of their arms. They both laugh, and Niall tickles me.

"Hey, no fair!" I laugh, wriggling and trying to tickle Niall, but failing badly.

"All's fair in love and war," Zayn says wickedly, and he falls ontop of me and tickles me too.

"Nooo!" I wail dramatically, falling back, laughing hysterically, with Niall and Zayn ontop of me, laughing just like that. I manage to tickle Zayn's sides.

He cries out in laughter and falls of me, onto my other side, where I reach out and tickle him more. He wriths in a fit of laughter, and then Niall attacks him too.

"Stop! Wait!" he wheezes, curled up. "I gotta pee, I gotta pee!"

We collape into hysterics, and I roll around on the bed, laughing. Niall crashes back on the sofa, throws his head back and roars with laughter. Zayn, who is free, catches on and laughs with us.

When our hyterical fits cool down, I sigh and sit up, running a hand through my hair.

"Where ARE they? There isn't that much rush at the bakery right now!"

Zayn snorts in agreement. "Maybe they DID get caught in fan-traffic," he pointed out.

"Maybe," I say, but a little core of doubt and something else pokes me. I poke back mentally.

"Hey, Lou, what was that for?" Zayn asks, rubbing his arm. I blink at him, then, realizing what I did, I burst into laughter again.

"What's so funny?" Zayn says, looking puzzled, and so does Niall. I stifle my laughter.

"Nothing... a VERY inside joke. Like, the-brain-in-my-brain inside."

Niall winces. "Ddin't need that imagery, lad. "

"Ew, now you mention it," I giggle. I stretch, and yawn loudly. "So, SHOULD I stay or go?"

"Go where?" a voice pipes up. Part of me sighs in relief when Liam and Harry slip back inside the room.

"The doctor has reported that Louis can come back home as long as he always takes his medicene, and comes back weekly."

"But I don't know whether I should go home or not. So I need your opinion... should I or should I not?" I ask.

Liam shrugs, looking directly at me, IN me. He knows I'm actually scared... to come back. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I can still just see the marks on Harry's face, even though they're covered up. Maybe its just because I know they're there... but maybe not.

Then I look at Harry.  
"If you want to stay back, you can, boo," says Harry, attempting to be serious, but his expression - one of denial to his words - is absolutely hilarious.

I hear a stifled snort from Zayn, and a little noise from Niall. Liam, who has also seen Harry, looks like he wants to laugh.

"Pfffffffff - hahahaahahhaahhhahahahaha!" Niall explodes, and we can't contain it any more. We all crack up, and poor Harry's expression keeps us laughing.

"What?" he questions, but we're all laughing too hard. Harry looks completely and utterly lost.

He looks so adorable, I get up and cup his face in my hands, dragging him onto the bed where Zayn and I previously collapsed in laughter. He falls almost ontop of me, and looks at me quizzically.  
"Oh, Hazza!" I laugh, looking at him. "You looked so..."

"STUPID!" Niall shouts from the floor, and Liam bursts into fresh peals.

"Funny!" I giggle, hugging his head. "Haz, if you want me to come home, just say so! Don't look at us like that!"

I hear him laughing into my chest. "Sorry," he mumbles.

I release his head and give him a big kiss on the cheek. "Oh, Harry. You crack me up," Niall states calmly, making Zayn laugh again. Then suddenly, he hiccups.

We all stare at him, then go back to our routine.  
It takes ages and ages for us to calm down - mostly because Zayn was still complaining about us being so unhelpful through his hiccups - but we finally did.

"So," Dr. Henry says, and I leap to my feet in shock, making Liam stuff his fist into his mouth. "Have you decided whether you're staying or leaving?"

"Ummmmmm," I blush. "Well..."  
I look around the room; at Liam, who looks at me encouragingly, wanting me to decide myself, at Zayn, who looks at me warmly, at Niall, who shrugs, and at Harry, who smiles, but his eyes are hopeful, and I want to laugh again.

"I'm going home," I grin.  
************************************************** **********

I'm back home, at my and Harry's apartment. The boys are still sleeping over, just to make sure I'm okay. Personally, I'm glad. It's going to be harder to injur four boys then one, especially under sleeping pills. But you didn't have a hard time injuring them before...  
Shut up, I snap at myself.

"So, here's the melatonin, and here's the sleeping pill... just those, for now," Liam instructs, and I swallow them down easily, gulping the rest of the water down too. "Melatonin also has something in it which puts you to sleep, but the doctor wanted you to take a mild sleeping pill aswell."

"Done," I say, wiping my mouth, and setting the glass on the table with a satisfying clunk. "Is that all, Daddy?" I mock him.

"No, now you have to kiss Mummy, Daddy, and your brothers to sleep," Liam says mischeviously, holding out his arms.

"OK!" I squeal in a baby voice, and give him a wet smack on the cheek, to which he moans and wipes his cheek.

Then I go to Zayn and plant a kiss on his forehead. "Daddy made me do it, Mommy," I say simply, and move onto Niall, kissing his hair.

Then I go to kiss Harry. "Lou," Liam sighs. "I was joking!"

I winked at him. "Tell that to Zayn and Niall," I call, and go into my room, where I know Harry is trying to clean up, though I protested he shoudn't.

I enter quietly, hoping to be able to scare him if he's not looking (I've gotten amazing reactions, really). He isn't looking; he's sitting on the bed, facing away from me.  
I'm about to pounce when I realize his breath is hitching quietly, and his head is ducked.

Oh, God, he's crying.

I crawl onto the bed with him and hug him. He gasps sharply, startled that I'm here.

"I'm sorry, Harry," I say into his shoulder. He doesn't say anything, so I sit straighter.

"Hazza?" I ask. He still doesn't do anything, or even look at me.

"Haz, you're scaring me," I say nervously, and shake his shoulders. "Haz?"

Finally, he looks at me, his eyes tinged pink, his smile watery. His eyes are glittering with unshed tears.  
"Why have you been crying? Please don't cry, Harry, I don't want you to cry," I say distractedly. "If it's about that stupid disorder, then please don't cry, I don't have it, I KNOW I don't."  
Harry just shakes his head, so I rave on.  
"It'll all be ok, it will be, Harry, nothing's happened, and I will be fine... Harry, why are you crying?" I ask, desperately, my emotions in turmoil.

He keeps smiling in that limp way, making eye contact with me. "I'm fine, Louis. I'm absolutely fine."

Suddenly, all my other emotions slide away, leaving me with raw anger - and tears.

I shove at his shoulder, almost making him topple of the bed. Harry looks at me, stunned.

But I'm furious. I stand up on the other side of the bed.

"Don't you LIE to me, Harry Styles!" I scream, hugging myself for support. "Don't you DARE!"  
Harry looks indescribably guilty now. He tries to say something, but I cut him off.

"I HATE it when you lie to me! UNDERSTAND?! I. HATE. IT!" I bellow, bending over. "AND I HATE IT WHEN YOU CRY! DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD YOU ARE MAKING THIS FOR ME?!"

"Lou," croaks Harry, moving his hands around. He looks like he wants to hug me.

Full of unknown, untameable fury, I launch myself onto him, grabbing his hands, clawing at his arms, his shirt, anything I come in reach with.

"THIS ISN'T EVEN FATAL OR ANYTHING!" I wrench the words out of my anger. "But YOU, bloody YOU, make me feel like I'M DYING! THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M GOING AWAY FOREVER!"

Harry isn't even fighting. He's just looking at me with a strange mix of horror and guilt in his eyes. I shake him in a rage, putting all my weight onto his arms, to which he gasps, maybe in pain.  
Good, I think in a haze of red, he knows how I feel.

"I AM NOT GOING TO DIE! STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I AM! NOBODY IS LOSING ME! OK?"  
I pound his chest, suddenly feeling a loss of energy, like somebody vaccumed all my strength out of me. My arms faulter.

What the hell am I doing?

"You aren't , going, to lose me," I gasp, feeling tears rage through my eyes. "You - "  
Then I collapse onto his chest, in a sobbing fit.

I thought you didn't want to hurt him, a mental voice comments, and it seems like he's smiling cruelly - like the way the strange Harry did in my nightmare.

My only response is that I keep cryng, keep weeping into his warm shirt. My sobs are uncontrollable.

"Shhhh," Harry murmurs, his voice cracking. "I'm so, so sorry, boo bear. I love you. I'm so sorry."

And he kept telling me this until my tears began fading, eyes drifted closed, and I fell asleep.

Yes! Sorry about updating late, I had a sleepover and couldn't complete this chap yesterday. I sincerely apologize. But hope you like this chapter. BTW, that disorder is real, and I'm pretty sure melatonin is helpful for it. Thankfully, I don't suffer from RBD. WARNING ; do NOT take anything in this story as a medical reference. UNDERSTOOD?  
I still don't own One Direction or Paul - though (unfortunately) I do own Dr. Henry. *Sigh*.  
KEEP READING AND FOLLOW, FAVORITE, AND REVIEW! Atleast review, though, please. :)


	11. Chapter 11

Harry's POV:

I chew my lip and survey the room. I volunteered to clean it up, though Lou protested I shouldn't, as it was in 'a fat load of unrepairable'. But I refused to listen to him.  
Now, I'm not so sure about what to do. I scoop up some shirts from the floor, and hang them up in his closet. Then I pick up some photo albums which had been knocked over, and put them back on his desk in a stack. I pick the last one up, and a picture falls out.

I bend over and pick it up. It's a picture from the X Factor - Louis has fallen asleep on my shoulder, his mouth open, drooling. I'm grinning like a maniac, and have made him bunny ears with my fingers.  
I smile at the memory...

"That was amazing, guys," I sighed as I leaned back in the car seat while we were driven back to our house. "Right?"  
I heard enthusiastic replies from Liam, Niall and Zayn, who have all just opened their eyes.  
I poke the person leaning on me. "Louis?"

I hear a grunt. I peer down at him.  
His jaw has dropped, and saliva is spilling from his mouth. His arms are wrapped tightly around me.

Niall and Zayn burst into laughter as they see Louis, and Liam pulls a camera out of his pocket.  
"Say cheese, Harry!" he calls, chuckling. I give a big, teeth-showing grin to the camera.

"Oh, God," I say, "I hope he doesn't drool on me!"

Then I feel something wet on my arm. I groan.

"Louis!" I moan, and the boys start laughing again, while Liam snaps another shot of us...

I sigh, and slip the photo back into its place in the album. This was one of the many pictures that we hadn't released into the public because... well... these moments felt personal. We didn't really want to share everything with the world. Some things, you keep to yourself.  
Suddenly I feel tired, and I sit back on the bed behind me. I shake my head, trying to wake myself up.

Oh, Louis...  
How could he be doing all this? Even in his dreams? Lou never gets nightmares; I honestly can't remember the last time he's complained of them.

A lump grew in my throat. What could his subconsious be so... angry about?

Shockingly, I had started crying. I don't know why at first.  
I don't want to lose Louis.  
I don't.

How can you lose him? Its just RBD!

He could hurt himself!

But what are the chances it'll be fatal?

There are chances, and that's good enough for me!

I try to control my tears, and it seems to be working. I take a deep breath.  
Suddenly, I am pulled into a hug. I inhale sharply, put offguard. Immediately I try to stop myself from crying at all.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Louis mumbles it my shirt. I attempt to compose myself.

"Hazza?" he asks. I can't look at him, and if I say anything I know my voice will crack.

"Haz, you're scaring me." Louis sounds frightened, and I hate it. "Haz?"

Hoping I'm ready, I look at him with a big fake smile on my face. But my eyes well up with tears again, and I know he isn't fooled.

"Why have you been crying? Please don't cry, Harry, I don't want you to cry," Louis says anxiously. I look away from him. "If it's about that stupid disorder, then please don't cry, I don't have it, I KNOW I don't."  
How can he know? I think desperately, and I shake my head miserably.  
"It'll all be ok, it will be," Louis promises, but I can't believe him. I can't believe my best friend. "Harry, nothing's happened, and I will be fine... Harry, why are you crying?" I ask, desperately, my emotions in turmoil.

I keep my smile pasted on my face, and I look Louis again. His expression is muddled. "I'm fine, Louis," I lie. "I'm absolutely fine."

Suddenly, his face turns dark. He pushes me with tremendous force, and I almost fall off the bed. When I regain my balance, I look at him, surprised and scared.

"Don't you LIE to me, Harry Styles!" Louis shouted, his face full of rage, and... hurt? He wraps his arms around his own waist."Don't you DARE!"

I feel tremendously guilty for causing this, even though I'm not actually sure if I DID start it. I open my mouth to speak, but he stops me.

"I HATE it when you lie to me! UNDERSTAND?! I. HATE. IT!" he raged, doubling over. I'm stunned into silence. "AND I HATE IT WHEN YOU CRY! DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD YOU ARE MAKING THIS FOR ME?!"

I realize, now. I feel horrible. I've been so stupid. "Lou," I gasp, wanting to apologize, wanting to hug him and say sorry.

Suddenly he pounces onto me, still furious. He's acting like he did the last few nights, and this terrifies me. I feel his nails claw at me, leaving red-hot trails of pain in their wake, then across my stomach. It hurts, but I can't do anything.

"THIS ISN'T EVEN FATAL OR ANYTHING!" Louis yells at me, eyes flashing. "But YOU, bloody YOU, make me feel like I'M DYING! THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M GOING AWAY FOREVER!"  
Louis looks so hurt, and so angry, I can only stare at him in despair. I try to tell him I'm sorry through my gaze, but he doesn't understand. He shakes me furiously, scaring me to death, and then leaning all his weight onto my arms where his hands are wrapped. I gasp in pain, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"I AM NOT GOING TO DIE! STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I AM! NOBODY IS LOSING ME! OK?" he shouts.

I know, Lou, I say silently, looking at him. And I'm sorry.  
All at once, he looks weaker as he slams his fists into my chest. He shivers.

"You aren't - going - to lose me," He gasps. "You - "  
And then he falls onto me, and bursts into tears.

I'm still stunned and frozen. Louis curls up intop of me and cries his heart out, and I'm so, so confused. I don't know what's going on.

"Shhhh," I say atlast, trying to be reassuring. "I'm so, so sorry, boo bear. I love you. I'm so sorry."

I keep repeating my words, keep stroking his hair. I see Liam poke his head in, and he raises his eyebrows in question. I shake my head, and raise one finger to show him that I need a minute.  
Finally, Louis's sobs subside, and his breathing slows. I check to make sure he's asleep. He is.

"Liam, come in," I call softly. He comes right in, with Zayn and Niall at his heels.

"What happened?" Niall asks, looking scared.

"I don't know, really. I was just trying to tidy up, and then - I started crying, and he came in and saw - and I told him I was fine, and he started ranting at me." I bit my lip anxiously.  
"He told me I was lying, and that he hated it when I lied... and stuff like that." I didn't want to tell them what he said about dying. "It seemed like he was having one of those nightmares."

"But he wasn't," Zayn says, asking it like a question.

"No, he wasn't," I confirm. I know it. I just do.  
I realize I'm still lying down, and my shirt is soaked with Louis's tears. I don't move, though.

"Well, I'm glad he's asleep, though," Liam says, looking at Louis, who's hands are curled up in fists near his face. "Can you carry him back?"

I try to get up, but he makes such a miserable moan that I decide not to try again.

"We'll be fine in here," I say.

Niall cocks an eyebrow. "With no mattress on the bed?"

I didn't realize that. In fact, I'm lying down on a big wooden board. How I didn't notice how uncomfortable it was, don't ask. I don't know myself.

"Well, Lou fell asleep," I point out.

"He's under sleeping pills, and he's sleeping on you," Liam says sternly. "I refuse to let you two sleep here."

I think of arguing, but decide better. I really don't want to wake Louis up, but I hold Louis firmly and manage to stand.

He whimpers, and wraps his arms around my shoulders, burying his head in my neck.

"Sorry, Lou," I mutter as I walk outside, and into my room. Everything looks the same as it did two days ago. I try to bend down onto the mattress, but Louis refuses to loosen his grip on me, so I get both of us on the bed.

I try to get up and change, but Louis moans again and clutches tighter.

"Fine, you win," I murmur, and I lie back down again properly. He shifts back into the same position we were in before, and then doesn't move again.

I don't mind at all. I sigh contentedly at feeling Louis ontop of my ribcage. The boys come in, and start talking, and I finally fall asleep.

The sunlight streams in through the windows, and I wince, moving about. My whole body is tangled with somebody elses.

"Rise and shi - ine!" someone sings. I groan, and shield my eyes. I feel the other person move.

"Ugh," he mutters. I realize it's Louis, and then last night's events rush back at me. I feel wary of what Louis might do.

Before you ask, yes, Louis did have a nightmare, but it was like last night's. Not like when he broke the bathroom mirror, or gagged me... ok, you get what I mean.

"What time is it?" I ask casually, stretching.

"About 10," Niall replies. "So WAKEY-WAKEY!"

"I don't want to get up," Louis mutters, burying his head into his pillow. Niall shakes his arm.

"Well, you have to, genius. I hope you remember we have a photoshoot today?"

I jerk myself awake.  
"Damn," Louis groans from underneath the pillow. "Ok, when?"

"You have 15 minutes, boys. Good luck!" Niall announces, and runs outside before either of us can protest.

Louis grumbles from beneath his pillow, but I can't understand him.  
"Lou, how am I supposed to hear you when you're under that pillow of prissiness?" I ask. He says something louder but I still can't hear him.

I sigh and lie down right next to the pillow. "Say it again," I say loudly.

I hear a muffled, "I said," then a rustling - of which I later realize was a pillow being removed from SOMEONE'S face - and a full blown shout, "I DON'T WANNA GET UP FOR A STUPID PHOTOSHOOT!"

I flinch hard. "Ouch," I complain, as I wiggle my earlobe in vain attempts to fix my hearing.

Louis grins. "You'll get over it." Then his smile faded.  
"Haz - " he hesitates. I shake my head.

"I know. I am too," I say. I know he wants to apologize. "Can we just leave it at that?" I add, when he opens his mouth.

He closes it. I lean in and give him a hug. He relaxs, and nuzzles my shoulder. I feel warm with my new peace of mind.

We break apart, and look at eachother.

"So," Louis says slowly, "Get ready?"

Oops. Right. "Yeah," I say, and jump out of bed.  
************************************************** *******

"Hey, Louis, did you have any nightmares?" Zayn asks.

Louis glances at me quickly. "No, not really," he says. "It just felt like - a bit creepy."

"Ok. We'll see if the medicene does anymore help, ok?" Liam says quickly, shooting a glance at Zayn, who shuts up. I feel surprised. I thought they would tell Louis everything. Apparently not. Or maybe so. I'll ask later - in private.

************************************************** ********  
"Ok, boys!" our photographer, Stella Joriana, calls, clapping her hands. "We're dividing this photoshoot into two parts - one, the sweet, innocent One Direction, and two, the big, bad One Direction. Ok?"

We all shrug and nod. I catch Louis's gaze, and he waggles his eyebrows at me. I grin back.

"Alright! So, number one! Lets get you boys ready!" Stella cheered, and we were herded away by stylists and make up artists.

I recieved a hazy blue-grey well-fitted three-quarter sleeve T-shirt, with two buttons at the top, and pearly grey trousers. I was surprised at how exact the shirt measurings were; they must have asked every measuring of my body. A stylist explained that this would make a 'heart-melting' impression, so I just went along with it.  
My hair was sprayed throughly with water, then blow dried properly, giving me extra curl. I occasionally blowdry my hair anyway, so I wasn't irritated by the hot air. Niall and Louis were, however.

"OHMYGOD that's hot," Niall says loudly, shutting his eyes. Louis pulled a terrified face.

"Oh, god, my face!" he shreiks jokingly, but I know he doesn't like the heat in his face.

The make up artists just put lots of powder on my face, which is surprising. Normally they put much more on. But, apparently, this tiem they wanted the natural look. Hey, I'm not protesting.

Finally, I'm all done, and I can sit outside in the studio and wait with the others. Zayn and Liam are both there, chatting. Zayn has a lightblue blazer on ontop of a simple white T-shirt and trousers. That's normally my look, but I guess things have to change. Liam is wearing a white hooded cardigan ontop of a misty grey T-shirt, and hazy blue trousers. I wonder what the photographer has planned.  
I realize this is a good time to ask what happened in the car, so I go to sit right next to them.

"Guys," I say quietly, grabbing a nearby chair and straddling it, "What weren't you telling Louis in the car?"

Liam's eyes dart around, checking if anybody's listening. Then they return to me.  
"We weren't 'not telling Louis' anything, we just weren't pressing him about it. I can tell he feels uncomfortable discussing it, so we just want to ask him whether the problem is increasing or not."

I wince when he says 'problem'. It shouldn't BE a problem. But it is, and I have to live with it.  
"Oh. Ok," I say, and Niall emerges from his dressing room, wearing a white T-shirt of which's three-quarter sleeves were pale grey, and faded blue trousers.

He raises his eyebrows when he sees us. "Nice theme," he comments. "Are we going to be floating in the sky as clouds?"

"Not quite, Horan," came Stella's voice. Niall makes an 'Oh no embarassing I'm caught' face, and Liam laughs.

"What exactly is this theme, Stella?" Louis asks, coming out of the dressing room. He looks good, and he's not wearing anything like he normally does, like all of us. He's wearing a thin pearly-grey V-neck sweater, which has a tight band at the end that hugs his hips. The cloth above that poofs out a bit, and his sleeves are rolled up to above his elbows, like Liam. I'm guessing they both did it themselves. His trousers are the color of white roses.  
I grin at him unconsiously, and he gives me a 'what-are-you-thinking-cheeky' look, to which I go red. Why, oh why did I go red?

"Since you're all out here, you might aswell see now," Stella says, and we follow her into the place where we will be photographed.

She gestures for us to stand in the spot infront of all the cameras. There are quite a few of them, actually. We step up into the spot, and wait.

"And..." Stella gestures towards a man.

And suddenly, the air is full of -  
"Bubbles!' I say with glee as I pop one. The others are laughing, and Zayn sticks his tongue out to pop one. It pops, and he makes a disgusted face.  
"Plegh, taste horrible!" He wipes his mouth on his hand as Liam falls about laughing.

"Oooh, curly, you'v got one in your hair," Louis laughs, and he pops it with one finger. I grin.  
"Thanks," I say, then I look at Stella.

"So - "

"Don't think!" she interrupts. "Just do."

We all exchange glances, and then go crazy, as more bubbles fly into the air. I try and pop as many as I can and end up falling onto Niall. We laugh, sprawled on the floor, and Liam and Zayn hoist us up back onto our feet. I flip my hair out of my eyes and look at Louis, who is trying to pop them with his nose, and laughing whenever he does. I creep up behind him, and, using his shoulders for leverage, I jump into the air gleefully, and pop one with my tongue. The taste is horrible.

"Ewwww!" I moan, and I wipe my tongue on my amr furiously. Louis laughs.  
"Serves you right!" he teases, and we all go back to playing in the bubbles.

After a while, I get tired and sit, leaning against a wall, gazing at the bubbles fondly. They always make me happy. One floats over to my nose, and stays there. I go cross-eyed looking down at it, sending Zayn into hysterics. It pops abruptedly, and I blink in surprise, then burst out laughing.

Louis plops down next to me, smiling. "This is fun," he comments. "I love bubbles," I say, sighing. A grin creeps onto Louis's face, and I realize I've said something wrong. Oh, damn.

"To the bubble machine!" He shouts, and suddenly the boys are hoisting me into the air, and right infront of the bubbly machine.  
This is prety good bubble mix, and so alot of the bubbles got stuck in my hair and on my clothes. When I'm put back on my feet, I can barely see anything through the bubbles. The others roar in laughter, and Niall falls to the floor. I shake my head, dislodging some bubbles, and grin.

I go back infront of the bubble machine, once again becoming coated in bubbles, and then I run to Louis.

"Aaaaaah Bubblymonster!" Louis shreiks, and runs around the room. I chase him around, and finally tackle him to the ground, and quickly turn him around onto his back, grinning.

Louis is grinning too, when suddenly the grin dissapears and he looks shocked. He covers his eyes.

"Louis?" I ask, worried. After a while, he uncovers his eyes.  
"Sorry," he mumbles, smiling at me anxiously. "Just a sort of flashback."

I remember how this same thing happened a few days ago, and Louis had been terrified. So I understand, and give him a big, bubbly hug.

Louis giggles weakly. "Harry, the bubbles are tickling my nose."

"Suffer the consequences," I say, and hug him harder, trying to tell him telpathetically that I'm here. I think he got the message.

Liam begins trying to keep a bubble afloat, by blowing on it. He has little success, and when he blows one into Zayn's face, he laughs and turns back to the camera. I decide to enjoy my last bubbly moments.  
"C'mon," I tell Louis, and I drag him infront of the machine with me. After awhile, we pose for the camera, bubble-covered, laughing our heads off. Louis licks my shirt in an attempt to get rid of the horrible taste of bubble-mix.

"Ughhhh!" I shout. Niall laughs and jumps onto my back. I stumble around, and manage to bring everyone to the ground, and we all have a good laugh on the floor there.

After a while more of this, the bubble machine stops. We all desperately try to pop the last few bubbles. Zayn claps a bubble right infront of Niall's face, who stumbles back in surprise, earning a laugh from the rest of us.

Finally, all the bubbles are gone. I sigh, and pout jokingly. Louis scoffs and pulls at my cheeks, stretching them. I stick my tongue out, and cross my eyes, like in the movie "The Runaway Bride", making the face called the 'duckbilled platypus'. Louis laughs and takes my head into his head, shaking it madly. I roll my eyes and pretend to choke dramatically.

"I love you, Haz," he chuckles. I grin. "Me too."

"Ok, people! Thats a wrap on photoshoot one! The EASY one, mind you!" Stella adds. "Now, go get ready for number 2!"

We dance off the pale grey floor where we were directed, Liam and Zayn doing that dance where you hold a stick infront of you, and kick your legs out in time with eachother, except they don't have a stick. They look absolutely hilarious.

I laugh, and throw my arms around Niall's and Louis's shoulders. We all headed to the dressing room for Photoshoot Number 2.

AND THATS A WRAP PEOPLE! Next chap should be here after two dys! Keep watch!


	12. Chapter 12

Louis's POV:

I go and sit myself on my chair, smiling. I had loved the bubble photoshoot; it had been different and we had so much fun. I grin as I remember how bubbly Harry had been.  
The first thing they do is spritz our hair in water. Note how I lie and say 'spritz'; my hair is as wet as it is after a shower when they finish. I shake my head like a dog cheekily, and water flies around the room, wetting the stylists.

"Why didn't you just make us put our heads under running taps?" I ask seriously.

One of them smiles at me. "This way seems more proffesional," she grins. I wonder if she's serious.

They towel-dry my hair first, then they blow dry it for quick results. I don't really like having my hair blow-dryed, hence I never blow dry it, HENCE I haven't built up a resistance against it, or gotten used to it. So, obviously I'm uncomfortable. It feels like I'm standing next to a roaring, raging fire, the air is so hot. I try not to grimace or wince. Harry catches my gaze. His hair is madly curly, and still being blowdryed.  
He gives me a sympathetic look. Only he knows that I don't like blow-drys; I flash him a grateful grin, then let the stylists finish.

It looks basically the same as before, except sleeker, and I prefer it messy. Another reason why I don't blow-dry.

I mess it up on purpose, and the stylists give it a one-over. They don't say anything on what I've done, so I'm let off, thankfully.

I wander over to the closets, where more stylists are talking over outfits, and other stuff.

"This will look nice..."  
"Have you heard about him...?"  
"Ilike those jeans..."  
"Great sweater..."  
"...I know! It's so outrageous!"

I clear my throat, and they all jump around and stare at me.  
"Sorry," I apologize. They all look so startled.

"It's fine," one of them says, smiling. "We've already picked out your clothes, Louis. Here."

I take them, and smile my thanks. I go back to my dressing room, and begin changing.

I pull of my shirt, almost unconsiously, thinking. I take the other shirt and am just about to tug it over my head when my phone rings.  
I jump, startled. Then I pull it out of my pocket. You have 1 new text message.

I check it. It's from Eleanor.  
Oh, God. Why haven't I been thinking about Eleanor?

Hey love :) Liam tld me u went 2 the hospital, u feeling ok? :( Srry I hvnt been around, but im coming back asap, k? Hope you get better!  
E XOX

Why haven't I been thinking about Eleanor? Why haven't I even THOUGHT about calling her? Or telling her?

I shake myself. Don't be silly, I tell myself. You just forgot. You were freaked out and scared and stuff. It's fine.

I text back.  
Hey babe ;) Yeah jst some sleep problems, im fine :) its ok, sorry I didnt tell u b4, i spaced out : / . C u soon! XOX L :)

I send it, and then pull on the rest of my clothes. I check myself out in the mirror.  
I'm wearing a loose, thin white sweater, with maroon, fitted trousers. I take the long, white scarf that the stylists gave me and carefully lasso it around my neck, loosly. It doesn't look bad. The fringed ends of the scarf are a mix of white and maroon. I tug on the maroon high-tops they've given me.  
I would like some suspenders, or stripes, because I never wear this sort of stuff and it doesn't feel like 'me', but I can't so anything, so I go outside to flaunt my stuff.

Zayn is just going into his dressing room. He looks at me. "Hmmm, not bad, Mr. Tomlinson," he says cheekily, nudging me on the hips. I nudge him back, grinning.

"Thanks, Mr. Malik," I say, bowing. He bows back, then goes into his dressing room to change. I saunter over to my chair and sit down on it. The make-up artists are getting their stuff, and, bored, I start playing 'Thumb War' with my own thumbs, like the goofy person I am.

"Oooooooooooh," a voice whispers in my ear. I jump, and turn around on my spinning chair.  
"Haz, you scared me!" I complain. He grins. He looks pretty darn good. He also has a loose white sweater on, except his is looser, and has a GIANT, and I mean GIANT (as in just-above-the-navel ) V-scoop neck. But he has a grey shirt underneath, and is also wearing maroon, fitted pants, with high-tops.

I eye him. "Are we all going to be dressed alike?"

He shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not." Suddenly, he leans forward, very close to my face, and grins. "You look good."  
I grin back, and pull him down by tugging the neck of his sweater.

"You do too," I whisper into his ear. He laughs, and straightens up. The make-up artists are here, and he has to go back. I raise my eyebrows in farewell, then the artists spin me around and begin working on me.

After more than five minutes, I'm let off. I take a peek in a mirror. It's a wonder how I don't look completely caked in make up. I wait outside the studio on a big pale orange leaher sofa, wondering what what Stella could be doing. They seem to be bringing boxes into the room. What on Earth could we do with boxes? I wonder. Sit in them?

That's not a very 'big, bad' One Direction, if you ask me.

Niall flops down next to me. "Hey, Lou."

"Hey, Niall," I mimic him. He's wearing a nice-fitting maroon shirt, which has a button at the top, holding the two folds together. There's a little hole there because of it. He's also donned dark grey jeans.  
"Have you talked to Eleanor yet?" he asks.

I wave my phone. "She just texted me 10 minutes ago. She's coming here as soon as she can."

"Great! Have you told her about...?" Niall trails off.

"She said Liam told her about my being in the hospital. I just told her I was having some sleep problems and I'm fine."

"ARE you going to tell her?" asks Niall. I shrug.

"Probably," I answer. "Won't I have to?"

"Probably," he agrees, and Zayn joins us.

"Vas Happenin'?" he asks brightly, sitting on top of Niall, who groans and squirms underneath his weight.

I push him onto the floor.  
"Nothing much," I say casually as he rolls on the floor, moaning. Niall laughs.

"One point for the Irish! ZERO, for the Malik." He looks down at Zayn, shaking his head. "Silly, silly Malik."

Zayn stands, and suddenly grabs Niall's leg, and pulls him off the sofa. He lands with a bump on the floor and a cry.

"My back!" he groans, and Zayn and I crack up.

"ZERO points for the Malik AND the Irish!" I shout. "THE TOMMO WINS!"

"Oh no he doesn't!" Zayn yells. "Niall, grab him!"

Hands seize my legs. I cling to the back of the sofa, desperately. But my fingers are sliding.

"Whoa, what's going on?" I hear Liam say.

"Liam! SAVE ME!" I yell, kicking my legs so that they can't stand. If they do, they've won.

Hands grab my arms, and pull me away. But we're losing. And there's only one person left...

"HARRRRREEEEHH!" I call. "HEELPPP!"

I hear footsteps approaching.

"Which side am I on?" Harry asks.

"OURS!" All of us yell.

"I think," Harry calls loudly. "I'm going to join..."

I hope for the best.

"...ZAYNIALL'S ARMY!"

"No!" I shreik, laughing, as I feel Harry's grip on my legs. I can't hold on.

"I CAN'T... HOLD... ON!" I cry dramatically to Liam, who is laughing so badly his grip is slipping.

"No, Louis! DON'T LET GO!" he shouts, grinning.

Suddenly, there's a ginormous tug on my legs, and I fall backwards in surprise.

"WHOAAAA!" I yell as I crash into a warm body, and we roll on the floor. Finally we stop, and I open my eyes. I'm staring into a mop of curly chocolate-colored hair.

"Harreh," I groan, "You're squashing meh."

I hear a giggle, and then Harry props himself up on his arms, right ontop of me. He almost falls. I laugh, but it quickly fades. I feel... really... weird...

"Louis?"  
"Lou... me?"  
"He... I..."  
"W... Louis..."

I fade in and out of the darkness, dazed. Everything is murky, blurry. The images I see look like paint being mixed up, different colors swirling around. My head spins.

"Lou...?"  
"Sit...help..."  
"He...dunno..."

I feel hot, like my head did when my hair was being blowdryed, except right now it's all over my body. Then suddenly it's cold, too cold.

"Can... hear... Louis?"  
"LOU... what..."  
"What... do?"  
"WAKE...LOUIS..."

I feel my head loll around on my neck. The heat is so hot, it feels cold. It runs up and down my body like wheat moving in the breeze.

See, Louis? a voice mumbles inside my head. You can't survive even a bit of play. What makes you think I care? What makes you think I care at all?

Shut UP. You aren't real.

I'm as real as anything right now, Louis, it challenges me. You're trapped in your own mind.

No. I'm just... stuck...

Stuck in your mind, it tells me.

No, I think furiously. I'm not stuck.

Then escape.

I try desperately to wake up, or get up. But I can't.

"He's...Lou..."  
"What... hospital... do?"  
"I..."  
"OH... WAKE..."  
"Calm... Har..."

I catch on that last word.  
Harry.

I stop struggling at all.

See? it crows. You're stuck. Here. With me. And I will make you suffer. Like you made me.

No, I tell it. I'm going.

I think I feel warm, solid things on me. Or maybe it's just my imagination. But it's something.

I let my mind go blank, and I fall into a black chasm. I can't breathe...

**********************************************  
I feel warm. Very warm. Uncomfortably warm.  
My mouth has a bitter taste to it, and it's stuffy.

I'm lost. What...?

I feel something moving underneath me. Startled, my eyes flicker open.

Everything is blurry. I can't focus. I blink a few times, but it's so hard, and I have to close my eyes again. My head moves.

I cough, and take in a deep shuddering breath. Its relief to my lungs.

Hands grope at me, like desperate sinners begging for one more chance. But I can't move.

Words swarm around my head like bees, irritating me. Listen, I tell myself.

"Louis, can you hear me?"

I cough again.

"Louis, CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

I find my voice. "Liam?" I mutter. My mouth is horribly dry.

More words, but I can't understand them. I push myself back on my elbows, onto a cool body. I manage to open my eyes.  
Somebody's moving infront of me. I blink dazedly and try and focus.

Finally, the figure morphs into something recognizable. I mean, SOMEONE recognizable. It's Liam. Behind him are others.

Hands gently guide my elbows, propping me up against the person behind me. I have a hunch about who it is.

"Harry?" I ask, my voice dry.

Arms wind themselves around my waist. I shiver at how cold they are. "Right here, boo bear."

I try to say the others' names, when someone interrupts me.

"We're all here, Louis," Niall says.

"Yep," Zayn confirms. I try to get my head into a comfortable position. Harry pulls me a bit higher in his lap, so my head can rest in the crook of his neck. The groove fits comfortably around my head.

I realize I'm shivering lightly. "What... happened?"

"We don't know," Zayn says, looking very worried. "You just... well, you didn't really FAINT at first. You just went limp, and your eyes were fluttering alot. You've got a temperature," he adds.

"And... the photoshoot?" I ask.

"We're going to do it when you get better," Harry says, his chin resting on the top of my head.

"You weren't replying to us, but you definitely weren't unconsious yet. Then... you just ... you know. So we brought you home," Zayn continues.

"What time is it?" I say, struggling to get up, but Harry restrains me.

"Not yet, boo bear," he whispers into my ear. A tingling runs up my spine.

"About 4 o'clock," Zayn estimates.

"What?" I splutter. Harry strokes my arm.

"I think you fell asleep after a while," he says gently.

"Why don't I feel rested then?" I mutter, sinking back into his arms.

He just chuckles lightly in response.  
"Now, Lou," Liam says sternly. "You are going to rest."  
Harry starts raining light kisses on my head.

"You aren't going to protest. YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. REST."

"But..." I protest weakly, but Harry's kisses are very distracting.

"NO BUTS. We're all going to take care of you, and you're going to sit back and let us. Ok?"

Harry keeps giving me light kisses, and I can't think properly, frustratingly. "No, I...uh..."

"See? You can't even think of a way to deny it. Now, be a good patient, and get better. Fine?"

Harry's lips brush against a tickly spot, and I wriggle.

Liam must have taken that as a nod. "Good."

"NO," I say angrily, wriggling more, but his grip is firm, and, I DID say, his kisses are very distracting. "I - " My breath catches when he kisses a sensitive spot,and I bite my lip.

"You know you're defeated," Liam declares. "Now, let's get you to bed - "

"OH MY GOD!" I explode, unable to control myself, turning to look back at Harry, who accidently plants a kiss on my nose. "YOU'RE DOING THAT ON PURPOSE, AREN'T YOU?!"

Liam blinks at me, confused, while Harry bursts out laughing. Niall also looks lost, but Zayn is smirking.

"I'm sorry, boo!" Harry says, and falls back into his laughter. I can feel his ribcage shake as he laughs.

"What?" Liam asks us, but I'm too busy staring dissaprovingly at Harry as he laughs and occasionally gives me a quick peck, while Harry's too caught up in his laughter.

"What?" he repeats to the others. Niall shrugs, while Zayn keeps smirking. Obviously, he saw what happened.

Harry is still laughing. I just stare at him and shake my head.

"Harry Styles, you are one evil boy," I tell him, settling back down on him.

"That I am," he agrees, with a chuckle. "NOW, let's get you to bed!"

He uses the tone you would use on a kid. I don't like that.

"I'm FINE, guys. I don't need you all to take care of me," I protest.

"Right. Of to bed, Lou!" Harry sings, as he scoops me up and starts carrying me to bed. I manage to wiggle free onto the floor. I try to stand, but the sudden dizziness overwhelms, and I sway, about to crumble to the ground, when arms catch me.

"Whoa. Take it easy, boo," Harry says softly. He picks me up again, and I can't protest, still in a dizzy daze, and he brings me to his room, where we've all been residing lately. Suddenly, I feel tired. He rolls me onto the bed, and covers me with a blanket. He's about to leave.

"I'm not going to sleep if you're not here," I say firmly.

He raises his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Nope," I reply, and in an attempt to prove that I won't, I try to sit up. He comes and flops down on the bed with me.

"Ok, ok. Don't need any physical demonstrations."

I let myself fall back on the bed, satisfied, and I curl up onto his chest, yawning. The rise and fall of his ribcage feels like somebody's rocking me.

"Now, be a good pillow and don't move," I instruct sleepily, and let my eyes close.

I feel him shift a bit so he lies next to me. I know he's smiling. "Yes, sir," he says, and I relax, slowly drifting off, any ideas of nightmares far from my mind.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry's POV:

Louis falls asleep after five minutes, and I wiggle around a bit, snuggling deeper into the sheets. I hear the door open.

"He asleep?" Niall asks.

"Dead to the world," I confirm, then flinch when I realize what I just said.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Niall sounds worried. The door closes with a click, and Niall sits on the bed with us. I look down into Louis's mussed hair.

"Nothing," I say, but it sounds feeble even to me.

"Come on, Haz, I promise I won't tell," Niall says earnestly. I think I can trust him. I keep quiet for a while, though.

"Yesterday," I began softly, "When I told you guys that he was ranting at me and everything... I didn't tell you something..."

"What was it, Harry?" Niall asks gently.

I feel tears well up in my eyes again, and I hate myself for crying so much. "He kept accusing me of making him think he was going to - die." My voice is barely above a whisper. "He kept saying, you make me think I'm dying, you're acting like I'm dying, stop making me think I'm going to die..." A sob is wrenched out of my throat.

"Do I really act like he's dying?" I whisper, looking at Niall through my blurred eyes. I can't tell what his facial expression is saying.

"Not really," he replies just as quietly. "You just... just..."

"Just?" I ask, scared for reasons unknown.

"You just... act like you're terrified for him. It's sweet, really, Lou just misinterpreted it."

I can hear something in his voice which tells me differently.

"You're lying," I say softly, and more tears roll down my cheeks. The expression on Niall's face confirms it. "I can't believe - I've been hurting him so ... badly..."

"No, Haz, " Niall insists, "I know you're caring in your own way for him... but you're making a big deal of it. You make it more - dramatic. Right now, I think Louis just wants to be reassured that its nothing, and its just this bothersome little sickness which will be fixed with a little medicene and things. And he will believe you more than any of us, because he loves you alot. But then you have to be believable."  
I catch onto what he means.

"You need to pretend that it's not a big deal, and you have to make it very believable, because Louis knows you too well. Please, Harry, this could make it better, it could really, really help. Louis needs you to help him here. The doctor says he needs support. So, try?"

Try? Try to hide my irrational fear and misery and EVERYTHING? Be his post to lean on, be the thing that I just cannot be right now?

"Of course. Definitely," I murmur, not looking at him so he can't see the fresh tears burning in my eyes. "If it makes him better, anything."

I can hear Niall's almost silent sigh of relief.  
"Thanks, Harry. Louis needs you now."

And I don't know how,  
I can do without,  
I just need you now.  
The lyrics ring in my head. I nod.

"Do you want to sleep now?" He asks.  
Guess I'd rather hurt,  
Than feel nothing,  
At all...  
I nod again.

"'Kay, Haz. Goodnight." He presses a swift kiss on my head, and I close my eyes.  
I hear the door open, then click close. I open my eyes again, tears falling from them again.

I just need you now...  
He needs you now, Haz. Be strong.

I take Louis back into my arms, reassuring myself with his burning warmth. I faintly remember he's ill, and I probably shouldn't cuddle with him, but that's never stopped me and it still won't.  
I sigh, and wipe my tears away.

"I'll be stronger, Louis," I promise myself faintly. I'm so tired. My emotions have exhausted me beyond imagination. I let myself fall asleep in his comfort.

I wake up to Louis thrashing. At first, I'm in a hazy panic. I think I was dreaming I was being attacked by carnivourous plants. Do not ask where that came from.  
Then I wake up properly. I try to rub Louis's back, the way he's comforted in, but he's thrashing to hard. Pain blossoms in my arm and lower leg.  
I manage to wrap my arms around him and cuddle close, missing the worst punchs and kicks. I begin planting little kisses on his head and in his hair like I did before. I let my lips trail down his neck, and he lets out an abrupt shiver in the middle of his panic. I feel a bit startled, but I continue, kissing his ear, a wavy strand of hair, his temple, random places I can reach. His thrashing has decreased. I nuzzle his neck, and he lets out a soft, strange, contented moan. His body spasms once more, then he goes still. I keep my head where it is, but he moves again, and I have to withdraw my head.

He turns back to face me. His eyes are closed, and I think he's still sleeping.  
He snuggles up to me, his head tucking itself underneath mine, his hair tickling me. Then he raises his head again. I feel his lips ghost underneath my chin, and close to my ear. Then they reach a strange, very sensitive spot just under my jaw. I shiver, and have to move, or I'm going to flinch and wake him he moves with me, and I have to shut my eyes and concentrate on not gasping or wincing or anything. His lips move silently on my skin, and I have to fight a tremble.  
His head falls back underneath mine and then he becomes completely still.

After a minute, I let myself shiver. Louis doesn't react. I touch the place that he had been touching. I tremble lightly when I run my fingers over it. I keep note of it as a sensitive spot.  
Louis whispers something and it sounds like 'thank you'. But I can't be sure.  
I look at the clock on my wall. It's almost 7. I decide to get up in a little while.  
I laze around, pulling at my own curls, watching them spring back to place every time I pull them straight.

I quietly slide out of the bed, and tuck the covers around Louis. I press a kiss to his forehead.  
You love him alot, don't you?

I shudder, and look around the room out of fear Dr. Henry is actually here. But he's not.  
I look back at Louis. He looks so peaceful, and I have a strange urge to...  
I don't remember anymore. I leave the room, feeling slightly confused. I unconsiously touch my sensitive spot, deep in my thoughts.

"Haz?"  
I jump, accidently knocking down a vase, which I quickly catch.

"Sorry, Liam," I said hastily. "You just scared me."

Liam looks at me, a curious expression on his face, looking like Dr. Henry.  
You love him alot, don't you?

I shut my eyes. I have no idea why this line affects me so much. "Harry."

I open my eyes. "I'm going for a walk," I mutter. I scoop up my jacket from the back of a chair, then, without making eye contact with him, I leave.  
I bump into Niall outside.

"Hey, Haz, you okay?"  
I close my eyes again, breifly.

"Fine," I say, then I move out of his way and down the corridor before he can reply.

I don't know where I'm going, I'm just... moving. Trying to get my head into focus. Trying to THINK without that... that FEELING in my stomach nudging me.

I've entered a desert park. I go and sit on a swing. Memories reach out to me...

"Higher, boo, higher!" I shout, laughing in delight. I hear Louis laughing too. Liam rushes past me, and I stick my tongue out at him. He pulls a ridiculous face.

"I don't think it can GO any higher, Harry!" Louis yells. "Then why is Liam going HIGHER then me!" I yell in response. "I WANNA BEAT HIM!"

"You'll never beat me!" Liam calls as he crosses me again on his swing. "C'mon, Zayn!"

"WOOOOO-HOOOOOO!" I yell as I feel Louis heave onto my swing, pushing me sky-high. The sound of laughter is ripped from my throat.

"NOOOOO!" Liam howls. He shakes his swings' chains in mock frustration when suddenly he crashes to the ground.

My eyes widen in shock. I leap of my swing, landing on the floor standing with a giant thud, right next to Liam. My legs buckle from the pain and I fall onto my knees, but I pull his shoulder in shock and fear. He's shaking badly.  
Zayn and Louis run upto us. Niall is already here. We flip Liam over.  
He's laughing hysterically, his nose bleeding, rolling over.

"Oh, God," he gasps, his voice thick. He covers his mouth with his hand as he coughs, then he wipes it on Louis's jacket. It's bright red.

"Oh, God," Zayn mutters. His eyebrows are scrunched up together. "Liam, are you okay?"

Liam is still laughing hysterically. "That was funnnnn..." He seems delirious.

Louis bends down and slaps him across the face. Liam blinks, then his laughter stops and he closes his eyes.  
"My nose hurts," he murmurs.

I fish a tissue out of my pocket and gently wipe his nose, then examine it, the pain in my legs completely forgotten. "It's not broken," I declare. "Just bruised."  
"Great, let's get him back home," Zayn says, and Louis nods. They both scoop him up, Liam moaning. "Niall - wha - what happened?"

"You fell," Niall explains simply. "Let's get you home and cleaned up."

"It's fine, Li," I reassure him. "We'll get your nose pain-free in no time..."

I jerk myself out of my flashback, clutching the chains to stop myself from falling. I rub my leg, feeling phantom-pain there.

I swing the leg onto the other side of the seat, and lean back onto the chain, balancing myself. I try to understand the meaning of the doctor's words.

You love him alot, don't you?  
Ofcourse I do. He's Louis, and he's mine, I insist.  
But why would he say that? another part of me questions.  
Well, Liam said Dr. Henry thought somebody close to Louis had a fight with him. Maybe thats when he got the idea.  
Maybe, it says doubtfully. What do YOU think?  
I don't know how to respond to that.  
Listen to your thoughts. LISTEN. They're trying to TELL you something...

I concentrate fiercely on my thoughts, my jumbled, crazy thoughts which I KNOW are trying to tell me something... but what?  
I think... I think...  
Louis.

I let out a little animalistic sound of anger and irritation. I'm still so anxious about Louis that I can't even hear myself think. Literally.  
Try again...

I... I'm... I...  
I rise to my feet, stomping angrily. There isn't any point. I can't think straight. I. CAN'T. THINK. STRAIGHT.

I slam my foot against the poles. It doesn't hurt because I used the sole of my shoe. It vibrates.  
I tug at my hair, in fury. I want to scream, to shout, to curse the world for me not UNDERSTANDING, for being so CONFUSED, for my emotions being so JUMBLED. I open and close my mouth, hugging my body, rocking myself back and forth.  
Finally, I sink onto my knees, still rocking myself back and forth, trying to compose myself.  
I'm ...  
I pick up a stone, get back to my feet, then toss it as far as I can. It soars far, far away, out of my grasp, just like my thoughts.  
I've let out all my steam. Defeated, I hug myself for warmth, and head back to the apartment.

But apparently the world hates me today, and I trip on a loose stone, sprawling onto the grass and stones.  
I curl myself up into a ball for a moment, trying to contain my frustration, and then I uncurl. Someone hoists me to my feet.  
Instinctively I lean completely on the person behind me, then I jump back to my feet and look at who it is.

It's Zayn.  
"Fell," I explain.

"Yeah," he says, studying me. I feel unconfortable.

"How long have you been here?" I ask uncertainly.

Zayn smiles faintly. "Since your mental breakdown. We can talk about that later. Right now, dinner's ready and Liam's not very happy. You've been gone an hour, apparently. "

My jaw drops. "An hour?"

"Yep, mate. So lets go," Zayn says, steering me in the direction of the apartment. I realize I was going in the direction before.

"Ok," I agree, feeling very drained, not able to argue.  
************************************

"When people say 'walk' at 7 o'clock, they usually mean a half-hour worth of aimless walking. What were you doing, Harry?" Liam asks on the dinner table. Louis, who insisted to join us, looks at me intently. Niall is too busy eating to notice.

Zayn keeps quiet, putting himself more Chinese dumplings. I also remain quiet.

"Harry?" Liam says. Then he leans across the table, making eye contact. "HARRY."

I swallow my bite of sweet-and-sour sauce covered chicken. "Just walking. I lost track of time. I already said sorry," I say, a bit irritated. Zayn flashes me a warning look, and I calm myself down with another sip of freshly made apple juice. It's very frothy at the top.

"An hour walking? Really? And you aren't sweaty at all?" Liam says disbelievingly.

"I stopped at the swings for a while," I add.

Liam still looks disbelieving. "Whatever," he mutters.  
Niall, of whose brain must have registered the tension in the air, took that moment to choke on his dumpling.

"Uggghhhh," he wails. "My throat!" He hacks and coughs, and Louis thumps him on the back, looking amused. Liam just sighs, a smile glimmering on his lips.  
Niall clutchs Liam's arms as he spits the remains of the poor dumpling into a plate. I moan through my grin at the sight of the mangled bite of chicken. Zayn makes a face. Niall wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and then wipes it on Liam's jacket sleeve.  
Liam eyes his jacket and carefully takes it off, not touching the part where Niall rubbed his hand. He picks it up and drops it on Niall's head, who screeches and, in his attempt to take the jacket of his head, falls back off his stool.  
Zayn, Louis and I crack up, tumbling off our stools, kneeling on the floor in laughter. Liam plucks the jacket of Niall's head, who sighs.

"It was DARK!" Niall exclaims when he sees us laughing. He stands up. "Stupid dumpling." He shoots the plate a look, then he peers down at it properly.

"Ew," he says, pushing the plate away with one finger, and turning away in disgust. Liam chuckles.  
All three of us are still in hysterics on the kitchen floor. Louis is almost wheezing for breath. Through my laughter I mime Niall's crazy flailing as he fell, and Zayn laughs even harder. Suddenly the atmosphere is much lighter. Liam, grinning, pulls Zayn to his feet, then Louis, then me. We're all still laughing, and we flop down onto the couch, shaking.

"Oh, God, Niall," Zayn gasps, "You looked like a chicken!"

"P - CAAAAAAAAAACK!" Louis squawks, thrashing around. I just can't stop laughing, and I get the darn hiccups. Ofcourse, that sets everyone off again. It's so hard to breathe when you've got your crazy laughing friends laughing ontop of you.

I caught Louis's gaze. His green-blue eyes are crinkled up in laughter, and he's looking at me laughing. For a moment, he stops laughing, and looks at me happily. I smile back faintly, and I find myself memorizing his face. His light stubble on his chin, his thin eyebrows, his nose, his smooth pink lips...

I'm... I'M...  
I still can't remember. I bite my lip in frustration. My annoyance must have shown on my face, because Louis's expression became one of concern. He leans close.

"You ok?" he asks.

I close my eyes, leaning forward slightly instinctively. I feel comfort in his closeness.  
Suddenly my eyes flip open as I remember where I am. The proximity is so close between us, I'm put offguard. I stare at him, feeling lost.

"Harry?"  
I blink. "Yes. Yeah. I'm fine."

Louis gives me a look. "OK. You sure?"

"Positive," I confirm.

"Ok," he says, then smiles sweetly. I grin and take him into a headlock, planting a quick kiss on his hair.

"Ehm?" I release Louis from the headlock. Zayn is lying upside down on the sofa, staring at me. Liam and Niall are having a tickle fest. Zayn is staring at me in a way that makes me very uncomfortable. I sit up.

"EHM, what?" I shoot back.

"Are you gonna help me pry these two apart or not? I want to finish my dinner," he whines. He's not staring at me anymore.

I shrug, and grab Niall's shoulders, yanking him back, away from Liam.

He shouts and protests, while Liam tries to leap onto him. Zayn hooks an arm around his waist, and Liam jolts back onto Zayn like a yo-yo. They both fall back onto the couch through the force.  
I push Niall onto another chair and sit on him.  
"Can we finish dinner NOW?" I demand.

Ofcourse, Niall agreees. "Fine, come on!"  
I get up, and he bounds over to the table. Zayn retracts his arm, and Liam jumps on him before getting up.

Suddenly, I notice how pale Louis looks.

"Louis, are you feeling ok?" I ask, worried.

He shakes his head. "Gonna - throw up - "  
I quickly bring him to the bathroom, where he vomits. I rub his back soothingly.

Finally, he stops. Zayn brings him a glass of water, which he gargles with, spitting the water into the toilet with disgust.

"That felt awful," Louis groans. I produce a Butterscotch from my pocket, which he takes and sucks greedily. I feel sympathetic, and guilty. I had forgotten he was sick.

"Do you want to sleep, Lou?" Zayn asks.

Lou shakes his head. "Slept too much today," he says. "Think I'll just watch some TV. Anybody want to watch with me?"

I'm about to say yes when I catch Zayn's gaze. He gives me a LOOK.  
"Sorry, Lou," I say unhappily. "I have something to do."

He doesn't seem too hurt. "Zayn?"  
"Sorry, mate, I need a shower," Zayn says, shrugging. "I know Niall'll watch with you, though. He kept saying he wanted to relax when you were sleeping."

Louis looks a bit hurt now. "Ok."  
I hoist him to his feet, and we both herd him to my bedroom, make him lie down, and put the TV on. Zayn waves and leaves.

I wink at him, trademark Harry-style. "See ya, Lou."  
He gives a smile that doesn't seem to reach his eyes. "Bye."

I close the door behind me. Niall, however, is already here and opens the door straight away.

"TV time!" I hear him say, as the door shuts.

Liam is just about to leave when I reach the kitchen. His jacket is in his hand.  
"It's going to get colder, and I need to get another sweater," he explains. "Better leave now."

"Right. See ya at... 10?" I ask. He nods, then slips outside.

I close the door behind him, then lean on it, preparing myself for the talk. Then I straighten up and turn around, almost crashing into Zayn.

"What the hell, dude?" I splutter. "Stop coming up behind me like that!"

He gives a quick laugh. "Stop zoning out. Now, come on. You and I need to talk."

I fidget. "Zayn... I don't want to talk about it."

Zayn looks at me straight in the eye. "Haz, either you tell me, or I tell a therapist. Get with it."  
I know he's deathly serious.

"I don't think this requires therapy," I comment, as he drags me to the lounge.

"Yes, but..." he trails off. He stops suddenly.

"Zayn." I shake his arm.

He looks at me. "Let's just talk. For a moment."

I give in, and sit on the couch infront of him. He sits in the sofa behind him.

"I have no idea what the hell happened there," Zayn admits. "All I know is you had an emotional breakdown. And I'd really like to know why. For reasons."

"Reasons," I repeat.

Zayn looks irritated now. "Harry, I have my reasons. If you tell me what's going on, then maybe I can explain."

"I can't tell you what's going on, Zayn, because I don't know myself," I retort. "All I know is that I'm confused, and I can't think, and there's this feeling in the pit of my stomach which isn't going away, and I don't know what it is - " my pitch of my voice is escalating. " - and my brain is trying to tell me something but I don't know WHAT because I'm worried about Louis but I can't wait for him to get better because I think I'll go mad, and - and - "  
I'm struggling to find words. Zayn comes and sits next to me.

"I know," he says softly. "I do."  
I rest my elbows on my knees, and bury my head in my hands.

"I'm so confused," I moan, my voice muffled in my hands. "I don't understand."

"I know, I know, Haz," Zayn says soothingly. "Just... think... WHAT is your mind trying to tell you?"

I laugh bitterly. "Obviously you DON'T bloody know, Zayn. Why do you think I was doing in the park?"

"Ah," he says, his hand tracing circles on my back. "Right."

"RIGHT indeed," I retort. "The only stupid thing I can understand is that its something to do with me. I...I... I... ,pretty pathetic."

"No, it could be useful," Zayn muses. I hate how calm he is.

"Why do you think you could help me in this... this... whatever, Zayn? Why YOU?" I shoot these words directly at him, trying to relieve myself from the frustration. Zayn doesn't seem to mind, but he hesitates. This gains my interest.

"I've done this before, Harry," he says simply. "I found someone else having a meltdown. We found out what happened. So I think I can help you too."

"Who was it?" I ask suspiciously. "Not... you?"

He ignores my question. "So... you don't know what it means?"

"No. Do you?"

"I hope not," he says, looking at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, feeling a flicker of fear.

He dismisses it lightly. "Nothing. That was just a very dramatic affair."

I feel annoyed. Zayn isn't revealing ANYTHING to me, and it's not helping. I stand up, shrugging of his hands.

"Look, this isn't helping anything. I think I'll just - "  
Strong fingers wrap themselves around my wrist.

"Harry. I WILL tell a therapist. I will."

"Zayn, I don't think this really needs therapy."

Zayn hesitates yet again.  
"Harry... it gets worse. Much, much worse."

"What..." A horrible thought struck me. "Oh, God, Zayn, are you frickin' emo?"

Zayn looks at me with sudden interest. I rewind and think about what I just said. Realization dawns on me.  
"What the hell did I just say?" I ask slowly, not sue.

"You just asked me if I'm emo - which I'm not, Harry. But that means you're - seriosuly not - depressed about someone!" Zayn says excitedly. "Thanks for letting your heart talk this one, Haz."

"I didn't do anything," I say, sighing. "Can I go now?"

"Fine. Just consider who this person might be?"  
I nod, then am about to walk off when I think of something.

"Zayn, did the other dramatic affair you were talking about... start like this?"

Zayn studies me. "Yes," he says at last.

I smile weakly. "Great."

WOOOOOH! Longest chap so far! Thank you, my reviewers!


	14. Chapter 14

Louis's POV:

I knew Harry and Zayn had wanted to talk. It had been written all over Harry's face. Frankly, Zayn is not good at hiding his thoughts. Usually, I love that about him. Infact, I still do. But if they had wanted to talk, they could've told me. I wouldn't have minded. Why they felt the need to lie to me brought up suspicions. I'm guessing they wanted to talk about me.  
Niall is lying next to me on the bed, snoring gently. I turned the TV off ten minutes ago. It's almost ten o'clock, and I don't really feel like facing Harry again. I don't feel up to hiding right now.  
If you hadn't already guessed, I had a nightmare - AGAIN. When I was having my power-nap.

It was... it was just...  
I think back to the dream.

I am lying down on cool, dark earth, on my back. I look up at the night sky.  
The stars. They were so bright. So twinkly. Beacons of hope, amongst the dark sky...  
One by one, they dissapeared.  
The sky changed color, from a deep, dark blue, to a murky, faded purple, to a brilliant, blood red.  
I try to sit up in alarm, but hands grab my limbs, pulling me down into the cold soil, down, down, down...  
It's all your fault, Louis, voices - voices that I know all too well - rasp. All your fault... you will pay...

Deeper, deeper. Darker, darker. I can't breathe.

I flail about madly, trying to free myself from their grasps. I open my mouth to apologize, to beg forgiveness, but clods of earth fill my mouth, and I choke, gasping for air. I struggle as hard as I can, and I fall out of the soil into a dark, dark pit, still in the grasps of my torturerers... my best friends.

I gasp and spit out the mud, coughing and spluttering, and I keep fighting. I'm frightened, out of my life, and I don't know why they want to kill me... but they do.  
Then I see... HIM. With glowing, blood-red eyes, like the sky.  
And... I'm dying.

But suddenly, feather light kisses are falling down my head soothingly, running through my mind like fireworks. I feel like aia'm having deja vu. The new pair of arms around me... the touch of the lips on me...

Those same lips come down my neck, and I can't help but shiver. Liam, Zayn, Louis and Niall look at me viciously, their eyes soulless and angry, their bones prominent in their angular faces. I barely notice Zayn's head is twisted at an impossible angle. I keep flailing about crazily. I need to GET AWAY.

But then... I feel warm breath on my neck as someone cuddles underneath my neck. I feel hair brushing my chin, and it reminds me so much off...  
Harry.  
I'm dreaming, aren't I?

Yes, Louis, a beautiful, angelic voice says. Come back.

My body is rising, slowly, the vicious shadows still clutching at me. I fight for freedom.  
I'm sorry, I tell them silently, and I give my body one last violent shake. They fall.

I'm rising faster now, in the arms of...  
I turn around. All I can see is soft, porcelain skin and I urge myself forward.  
I cuddle up in the figure's neck, trying to remember this touch. I lean forward, and my lips trail against it's chin. Suddenly the body jerks upward, and I almost fall. I clutch at it and pull myself upward, so I'm touching it. Or her. Or him.

Go to sleep, I hear. Back to sleep.

My eyelids are drooping. I snuggle back down into the figure's arms, and let my eyes drift completely closed.

And that was my dream.  
It began as a nightmare, but then something saved me.  
Maybe something can save me this time?

I'm half-asleep when the door opens. I open one eye sleepily to see who it is. It's Liam.

"Lou!" he hisses. "You forgot your medicene!"

A little piece of me hisses back in irritation, wanting to shut him out, but I get up silently, and follow him out of the room, into the living room.  
I drop onto the sofa, my eyes half closed.

A glass of water is handed to me, and two tablets.

"It's just a panadol and melatonin," Liam says quietly, when I look up at him with slightly arched eyebrows. "For your fever."

I nod tiredly, and gulp them down. Then I get up and sigh.

"You watching a movie?" I say softly, because I can't bother to speak louder.

"Yep," Liam confirms. "You wanna sleep, I'm guessing?"

I nod, and wave as I back up to Harry's room. "Tell the boys I said goodnight," I mumble, and I slip inside. I close the door quietly, trying not to disturb still-sleeping Niall, and I crawl back into the sheets.

I'm almost sleeping when I feel a light kiss being pressed onto my forehead. I smile faintly. I know who that is. I let myself drift off.

I open my eyes wearily. I don't know what's going on, but I know my hands are tied to something, and it hurts. I'm moving, yet I can't see.  
I am slammed into a wall, the breath being knocked out of me, and I feel my feet being tied to something aswell. I try struggling, but there isn't any point.

Fire lines the walls, and I can see more. A tall, slim figure is walking over here. I already know who it is.

"I'm dreaming again," I whisper. I hear a faint laugh.

"Ofcourse, Lou," it says, in the voice of one, curly-haired teen.  
He steps into the light.  
Same thin figure, same big hands and broad shoulders, same curly locks on his forehead, yet his eyes - they could never be Harry's.

I steel my voice. "You don't have any control over me. I'm going back to my good dreams now." My voice is full of confidence, and so am I. But there is a core of doubt in me.

I concentrate, on that white figure who saved me last time. I try to bring it back, but it doesn't come.

The evil Harry smirks. "Poor, poor, Louis. You still don't UNDERSTAND, do you?"

"Understand WHAT?" I say tiredly. Might aswell listen.

"You might 'escape' every time, but then you just fall... into your best friends." The way he pulls the words 'best friends' into something sickening and fake makes me angry. "You will never be free... until you hear what I'm telling you."

"I can hear what you're telling me," I spit out the words. "So, say it clearly?"

Harry's perfect face contorts into a sneer. "I can't say it. You have to hear me, without me saying the words. Tell your stupid consience to STOP IT. Tell it it's not RIGHT, and I will never give in."

I'm completely baffled now. "My consience? What does it have anything to do with YOU?"

His face softens, still evil. "Silly Louis. That's your consience. I'm your SUBconsious."

"So my subconsious is in disguise of my best friend?" I shoot at him.

"Very much. Makes things more confusing for you... much harder."

I stare at him in loss.

"Oh, Louis, Louis, Louis," he comes up close, and I flinch, moving back into the wall. "What HAVE you gotten yourself into? Falling..."

"Falling what?" I ask anxiously.

Evil-Harry makes an innocent, guilty face. "Oops. Shouldn't have said that..." he drifts off.

"Please, just... stop scaring them. Stop scaring Harry," I plead. "He's frightened out of his life, and I don't even know why!"

The person inmpersonating Harry whirls around. "He's scared for you?"

I grasp on my chance. "Very! So please don't do this to me!"

He laughs. "What an INTERESTING game this will be! Poor Hawwy Wawwy is... well, this WILL be fun!"

He comes closer to me, again. "I'm being generous, Louis. I'm going to give you something to consider."

"Ok..." I say softly.

"You will still be captured by me every time you sleep. But nobody needs to know... no need for that thrashing or crashing which scares your poor bandmates so much. No, no. SILENT sessions. We keep it SECRET. And the others will be happy, thinking you're ok. Harry will be happy. How's that?"

I have to go through this EVERY NIGHT? Maybe worse?

"How will I not thrash or anything?" I ask challengingly.

He nods towards my bonds. "You're not thrashing now. You can't. And tape works well when silencing people."

I breath in slowly.  
Can I do this?  
For the band?  
For Haz?

I breath out shakily.  
"Fine," I breath. "Done."

Harry claps in delight. "Let it begin!"

I wake up in shock, my breathing slightly heavy. I look around, trying to grasp my surroundings.  
Oh.  
I'm back.

I peek down at the mattress. The boys are all asleep on the mattress. Liam has his head on Zayn's stomach, and they look really sweet curled up together. Harry is on the side, alone, with no sheet over him.

I hesitate, but get the blanket from a cuboard, and cover him with it. He doesn't even stir.

Don't worry, Haz, I say silently. Everything will be ok, now.

*******************************  
A week later...

"You're improving greatly, Mr. Tomlinson," A doctor says. I smile weakly. "Keep going, and you'll soon be better."

I look at Harry's relieved face, the spark in his eye.

I hope I'm doing this for the right thing...

Two months later...

I walk up to Zayn and Liam's cabin. I frown. They're whispering.

"Louis... quiet..."  
"Dreams again?... help... scared, Liam..."  
"It's ok... get ... not to bad..."

I paste a smile on my face, and knock cheerily, but my thoughts are swirling.

Another month gone...

The nightmares are still there. Every night. I'm actually getting use to them, if you can believe it. Or maybe it's just me trying to console myself. They creep me out. I couldn't describe what happens in them. But Liam, Niall, Zayn... and Harry... they just torture me.  
I'm still hanging in there. But I'm starting to realize the others are suspecting something. They KNOW something is up. They know I'm not acting as happy or jumpy as I used to. I don't know how long I can hide this, or even if I should keep hiding it, if they aren't at peace anymore.

I open Niall's apartment door with the spare key and am about to shut it when I hear Niall and Harry talking.

I hear a little rasping noise. I realize someone's crying.

"What's going on, Niall? I thought he was fine!"  
Oh, no. It's Harry crying.

Niall's speaking now. "I don't know, Haz. But he's acting more quiet nowadays, even you noticed that. D'you think..."

"The doctor said it was bloody FINE - "

"Doctors can be WRONG. Harry, you have to make sure he's ok. I -" Niall hesitates. "I don't think his nightmares ever went AWAY, Haz. I think he's just been hiding them from us..."

"How?"

I can't hear this anymore. They KNOW. What are they going to do?  
I back out of the room, and run outside, back to our apartment. Fear burns inside me.

I need to talk with my subconsious...

I awake - or, atleast, arise. I'm still tied up, but this time I'm not gagged, like I usually am. And, ofcourse, the evil Harry is here too.

I feel tears streaming down my cheeks. "They KNOW."

"Well, obviously. You aren't a very good actor, Louis, and you have been distant," it points out.

"YES, but what are they going to do? I don't WANT what happened 3 friggin' months ago to happen AGAIN!"

He takes my head into his hands, something I'm so used to by now, but yet again I flinch away.

"Well, that's not my fault, is it Louis? I hate you for being so WEAK."

And cruel, Zayn adds, staring at me.

"And cruel," Harry adds, smirking.

"Please," I say, trembling. "Help me." I hate what I've become, too. Weak, dependant, afraid. I'm not anything like I was before. But before, that used to be worth it. Now, everyone will soon know, and nothing will be worth it.

Harry sighs. "W-ell..." He stares at me with his crimson eyes, and the horrible scar across his face. Now, I've got two Harry's in my life; the day one, scar free and cat-eyed, and the night one, scar rippling on his face when he talks and blood-colored eyes.

"I can't help you." I break down, crying. I don't want to have to go back to the doctor, to have to see the sad and dissaproving looks they'll have for me.. I'm scared of them. Yes, I am.

Feeble... pathetic... and look what you did to us, Niall spits out.

"Harry," I say, my breath catching, "I'll do anything if you would just leave me in peace... please... please!" My voice cracked in despair, and suddenly I realize how tired I am, how scared I am.

Harry comes right in my face. He's not even breathing, and it's terrifying. "Anything?"

One of my hands comes free, and Harry grabs hold of it. I just stare at him, trembling. A knife appears in one of his hands. I'm about to scream in panic when the tape reappears on my mouth, and I can't say anything.

A hand pushes my chin up, and I'm staring directly into Harry's red eyes.

"Anything?" he repeats, and my wrist explodes in pain. I try to scream, but it's impossible. I see the knife digging inside my skin, see the blood pouring out. I want to throw up.

"It's ok, Louis," Harry says softly, as I sob. "At the end of every storm..." The pain in my wrist stops, being replaced by a strange, peaceful release. My flood of tears slows down. "... there's a rainbow."

I let out an inaudible moan. I feel the blade being pressed into my flesh again, but it doesn't hurt. I only feel a rush of... release. My head spins. I feel myself go limp.

"That's how you'll be free from me." And everything goes dark.

My eyes open, and I'm in my room. I cast a gaze around the room. We got it fixed two months ago, and it looks as good as it did before. Mattress back in place, curtains fixed, everything. I can feel someone next to me, and I turn around. Ofcourse, it's Harry. He's lying next to me, his body hunched away from me. I peek over his shoulder, and push a little of his messy hair to the side. I can see tear tracks on his cheek.

I trace them miserably, then I plant a quick kiss on his cheek. Then I sit on the bed, my knees pulled to my chest.

That's how you'll be free of me.  
How? I think hard. I touch my wrist. It's scar-free.

Does he want it to be? He wants you to break down, Louis. Then DO IT.

I grip my arm tightly. I don't want to...  
Then I look back at Harry, at the tear stains on his cheeks, and I remember the torture I've been put through.

I rise from the bed silently, and enclose myself in my private bathroom. I go through the cabinet... and find it.

I'm literally shaking from fear. I don't want to do this. I don't know how people do this. I'm so, so scared. But do I really have a choice?

I clutch the blade, my terror rushing through me. I can't friggin' DO this.  
I can't.  
I can't.  
I give a shaky sigh, and let the blade fall from my hand.  
It slashes my wrist before hitting the ground.

I gasp, and scramble away from it on the floor. But my wrist isn't hurting. I examine it. I look back at the knife. Unconsiously, I lift it up. It's so pretty... look at the way it shines.

Dazedly, I bring it back to my arm. It reflects the light, glowing like an angel. Like my guardian angel in that one dream, the one who saved me.  
The one who never came back.  
Suddenly, I'm angry. Heck, no, I'm furious. My hand moves by itself.

Cut, cut, cut. I stare at the blood dripping from my wrist, leaving bracelets around my arm. I laugh mirthlessly, just for the heck of it. I can't feel anything. This should be easy. The blade slashes my wrist a quite a few more times, criss-crossing the other wounds. I feel... strange. I give a weak giggle. I stand up. Blood splashes on the floor.

And suddenly, my wrist hurts.  
A fiery, hot pain takes over my arm. I cry out in agony. It feels like my arm's being burned in an oven. Spots erupt infront of my eyes. I stumble to the sink, and turn the tap on, letting my arm be washed by the water. For a moment, I feel slight relief, but then it gets a million times worse.  
I scream, backing up into shower, then onto a wall. My head slams against it sickeningly, and it doesn't help the pain at all. I let out another scream.

Through the agony, I feel myself fall to the floor. I don't know what to do, I'm hurting so badly.  
I hear a door slam shut, and someone is screaming. I listen to the words.

"LOUIS!"  
Well, duh.  
Not a good time to develop a sense of humour.

"OH MY GOD, LOUIS!"

I'm pulled into a sitting position, and pushed against a wall. I let out another cry of pain.

Harry's face swims into my vision. His face is contorted in anger and... fear?

"WHAT THE HELL, LOUIS!?" he shouts in my face, voice shaking. All I do is make another animalistic noise of pain.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING! ARE YOU MAD!?"

I clutch his shirt, then give a shout of pain as my wrist fiercely protests at my hands clenching. The amount of blood flowing from my arm is unbelievable.

Harry leaves my sight for a few moments, then appears with a.. bottle? And a roll of... something...  
I feel something touch my cuts - and it BURNS.

I yell, throwing my head back in agony, banging my head on the wall in the same place again.

"Unnnggghhhh," is the only thing I can shreik out. I slump forward into Harry's lap, breathing harshly. The world is swirling befre my eyes.

I'm so stupid...  
I gaze up into Harry's burning, brilliant green eyes that seem to be sparking alight with fresh tears. Then another extra jolt of pain is added onto my arm, and I thrash around, but it only makes the pain worse, so I have to stop.

I'm fainting.  
I take in a ragged breath, and my body is going limp.

"Don't faint on me, Louis. DON'T FAINT. STAY WITH ME. OK?"

I don't think I can.

"DO NOT FAINT, LOUIS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

I force myself to stay awake, though I know I can't for long. Tears are falling out of his eyes onto my neck and T-shirt. I feel so foolish.

"How could you DO this to me, Louis!" he rages. My arm still feels like its on fire, but I can't speak. The world is slipping away from me...

There's a pause, then I hear Harry yelling, "GET OVER HERE RIGHT BLOODY NOW! LOUIS NEEDS HELP!" Then there's a clatter. I wonder what's going on.

I feel myself being hauled into someone's lap. It feels so familiar. Like my guardian angel's...  
Could it have been...?  
Ofcourse.  
I'm so stupid.

"PLEASE don't die on me, Louis," I hear Harry gasping. "DON'T."

I give a short gasp when my wrist throbs, but I can't speak. I feel myself being bundled up into someone's - Harry's - arms.

Harry's sobbing harder now, desperately. I can't keep myself awake anymore.

"I love you, Lou."

To alllll my lovely reviewersss! (especially, and firstly, thundergirl305 my first reviewer and encourager and such[thanks XX] , and secondly, a certain anonymous reviewer self-named LarryS4Ever, who claims to quote from this story , all around her house. That definitely made me ROFL. Thank you guys very much. ) Sorry it took soo long! And I don't self harm and never have so I hope the descriptions are good for yaz! I'll try and update in the next few days! :) XX


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